it's three a.m. and i am awake.

Hi,

I went running yesterday. Two whole miles. Woo hoo!! I am going to go running every day until I can't anymore. We will see how long that lasts. I want a new job. A job to go with my awesome job. Anyone know of anyone who is hiring?

There is someone asleep in my bed right now. I am not comfy writing about him yet, we will see if he sticks around and is not run off. Ha ha. LOL.

Why am I not alseep next to them? I don't know. I get woken up in the middle of the night frequently by dry mouth. I need to either stop taking my medication, which is not a very good idea, or get a humidifier, which is a very good idea.

I saw someone with a bowl of water they kept on their radiator. They told me that it was an old school humidifier.

I don't think I want an old school humidifier. I definitely want a spiffy new one. The question is, going out and buying it and how much they cost. I guess I could try my old faithful craigslist, but I don't think I would find a very good quality one on there.

I wonder if I am going to work tomorrow. Er. I mean later today. I have not heard from my boss about the schedule yet, so I will text him when it is an appropriate hour to do so. I hope he enjoyed his holidays. He's Jewish turned Buddist, otherwise known as a JewBu, and during Christmas, in sticking to his Jewish upbringing, he and his wife watch a movie and eat Chinese food. It's cute.

I'm going to finish my water and head back to bed. Good night everyone, sweet dreams.

the laundry

I need to do my damn laundry.

One of the many perks of single life is that I get to do my own laundry now. The pros of this is that my all my laundry fits into one quaint little cotton laundry bag and I can easily carry it on my own to the laundromat. The cons are that I can no longer convince my ex to come over and drive my laundry to the laundromat and drop it off on his way to work or whatever. 

sigh.

It's been really beautiful these last couple of days. I hope that this weather continues because I do quite like it a lot. And I guess that's also another reason I should not put off going outside and greeting the day. I can even go and get some coffee! I think I just convinced myself to go outside. See how sly I am? I bribed myself with coffee. Wow. so slick. 

My cousin works at this place that sells FRESH coffee. I am talking super fresh. She said that if it's been on the shelf for more than a month, they have to throw it out. In comparison, she said that in Starbucks the coffee there often sits on the shelf in upwards of nine months before it gets sold. Kinda makes  you go "EWW" huh?

My sister has a blog about her experience in Lesotho. She's in the Peace Corps there and she got there in November. She's going to be teaching english at a junior high school. She says she likes it a lot. I will have to get the link to the blog so you guys can read/follow as well. But you can also find it in my blog roll.

Okay, time to start the day!

patrick swayze and demi moore have chemistry

seriously.

who else thinks patrick and demi have AMAZING chemistry in the movie GHOST?

Me!

A couple of my roommates just got home from a trip to ohio for Christmas. Adrienne told me that she had rented out her room to two Taiwanese people from Connecticut. They are totally adorable. She told me the website she found them from, but I can't remember what it is.

She still can't find anyone to rent the open room we have in our apartment, so she rented it out to these two people as a hotel room until New Years. I think it was a good choice on her part, lots of people are doing that now. I mean, when I first moved to the city, I would look on CL for apartments and if the person that posted the ad did not get back to you within half an hour of you firing off an email, you could pretty much be guaranteed that the room as gone.

That is not the case anymore. Oh, no it certainly is not. It is so hard to find roommates in the city now. I mean, I only needed a new situation because I broke up with my ex. I guess sometimes people just get lucky, right? I think she is planning on furnishing the open room. So we will see what happens. I do not mind her renting it out like a hotel room, the only thing is, you will have a higher volume of traffic coming in and out of the apartment, and I would just be concerned about my personal belongings, but I do not have anything worth stealing, anyway.

So, what did you guys get for Christmas? I have gotten money so far, and I am definitely not complaining! I hope you all have a very happy new year if I don't update before then!

Here's to Twenty Ten!

The day after(math)

It's the day after Christmas and everyone survived. And sometimes that is saying a lot for this family. I may have to change my schedule around so that I can come and take care of my grandparents over the weekends for a while. Chester and I might have to just bite the bullet and treat it as a vacation from the city for a few weekends.

My mom and my aunts are having a difficult time dealing with the changes in the perceptions of reality that my grandparents are having. It is hard for them to see their parents steadily decline in health. Personally, I enjoy this new world of whimsy that they have both created, and I am not sure that one could live very long after the other passes. They have been together for more than sixty years. That's a long time. Their oldest son is 59 and their youngest child, also a boy is 49.

They have oodles of grandchildren and a handful of great grandchildren. I have lots of fond memories of the both of them, and it's time for me to step up and do my duty as a relative to the grand matriarch and patriarch of the Feller (formerly Fellenbaum) family and take care of them.

My grandmother spends most of her time puting together puzzles and my grandfather still reads the paper. He used to go swimming at the YMCA and not long before that, he was still driving to the tennis court and playing tennis.

They say that death is a part of life, and since I firmly belive in reincarnation and the passing of souls through time, I think that both Ga and Conka will pass over again and continue their respective souls' journey's in the next lifetime. I do not know how I will feel when they actually kick the bucket. Sad emotions are particularly hard for me to feel. I do not know why. I do know that I laugh at the most inapropriate times.

On a lighter note, I am going to make a trip to Chicago in January to be part of a mini Nichols family reunion. My dad is setting it up because he is about to move to Alaska to take a job in Juneau. I think it will be good for him and that the state of Alaska will be lucky to have him, but does he really have to move in January? It's going to be really cold there, then. I am glad that my brother is helping him, and not me. I just have to go to Chicago, which will be cold enough for me and visit with the family.

I had a nice chat with my paternal grandparents on Christmas Day. They are doing well and I am excited to see them both, it has been about a year and a half since I have been out to Chicago, and the last time I was out there, I was using my Aunt's computer and I accidentally erased all the browser history from it. And for some reason I still feel very bad about it and I hope that she does not hold a grudge against me still.

I really should just stop feeding that situation energy, that is probably in my best interest.

I am playing the waiting game with VESID and I hope that I can start taking CASAC classes shortly after the New Year.

It's almost my birthday, a little less than three weeks from now, I will be 24. Ay yi yi.

It's Christmas and I'm drinking some tea.

I'm at my mom's for Christmas and I am spending it with my brother, my mom, my mom's boyfriend Steve and the dogs Heyduke (boxer) and Beethoven (Cockapoo). Later today we are going to go over to my grandparents house and have Christmas dinner.

I am kind of worried about my grandfather though. He is 91 and he just got over a nasty bout with Lyme Disease. He went to the hospital and said things like "Get  me out of this joint!" and he was in and out of lucidity the whole time. Apparently the hospital staff gave him a drug that was supposed to calm him down so they could give him an MRI, but it had the opposite effect on him, causing him to become agitated and delusional.

I have to say that I am not really surprised by this, because everyone in our family seems to have bad reactions to drugs. I took Geodon and could not walk, AT ALL and had to go to the emergency room TWICE and get a saline IV for two hours at the hospital.  And the ambulance EMT thought I was on heroin, yeah fun times.

After that I took Abilify and it locked up my joints so much it was hard for me to walk. I didn't have to go to the hospital for that, I just stopped taking it, and I stopped going to the shrink that was prescribing me the wrong drugs.

But I digress.

My grandfather, also known as Conka. Well, all the time known as Conka, got over his bout with Lyme Disease and he had a visiting nurse service and everything, even though he didn't let them help him with anything and they probably got yelled at a lot. Well, he just recently fell over while he was putting on his pants and hit his head and knocked himself out. My aunt called 911 and he got taken to the hospital. My grandmother "Ga"  (who lost her mind about ten years ago) was so hysterical she started hyperventalating.

When he got to the hospital, my mom showed up who didn't see him fall over. The doctors ended up thinking that he fainted and fell, and at this time my aunt had shown up and she said, no that he didn't faint, he tripped and fell. For some reason, if you trip and fall and give yourself a concusion, you can go home from the hospital no questions asked, but if you faint, you have to stay.

So he goes home with my mom and my aunt, and then my aunt told him to use his walker for the next 48 hours because he was not allowed to fall over and injure himself again. Of course he kept forgetting to use his walker and he fell over again. But this time he did not knock himself out.

I hope he makes it through another holiday's in any case. He's an awesome guy.

Lots of things to do on the eve

I am going out to my moms later today. I still have to go to the pharmacy and fill my prescription, I hope that the pharmacies are open today. I do not know why they would not be. I was also going to do laundry today, but I think I will leave until I get back into town.

I hope that Chester is going to be okay while I am gone. All my roommates left also, so I do not have anyone to ask if his food is okay or if he needs more water. I changed his bedding and filled his water and food. he should be okay for at least a couple of days. But the last time I left, I came home and his water was empty and I filled it up and he guzzled about half of it immediately. Talk about a dehydrated guinea pig.

He should be okay though.

Time to get going!

the eve is tomorrow

Merry Christmas everyone!

Another year is almost ending. it's almost the Penultimate day of the year. What are you guys doing for Christmas/New Years? Does anyone have any New Years' Resolution's this year?

I had a great time shopping and buying gifts for twenty kids from the Project Ready Program in the Bronx. I really enjoy buying Christmas gifts for kids who can't afford it for themselves. Everyone deserves to have a fun Christmas.

I am going to my mom's tomorrow. I was going to leave today, but the trains got all messed up today for three hours at penn station so everyone took the bus lines so I decided that I was just going to leave tomorrow.

I got hit on on my way home from a meet-up. I was almost to my apartment and I was actually talking to my baby bro on the phone at the time. This guy sidles up to me and says:

"Oh wow, you are almost as tall as me"

and I said,

"Yeah, I am on the phone with my brother right now"

"You can't tell him you will call him back?"

"No"

"Okay, have a nice night"

Okay, so this guy happened to be black. I have a question. What the hell is with black and latin men that they are so confident or cocky enough to just come up to girls -in the street no less - and hit on them like that? I mean, honestly. I don't understand it. And I definitely don't have time for it. I do not care if you look like Jamie Foxx's doppleganger, I am still not going to want to talk to you ON THE FUCKING SIDEWALK, GET A FUCKING LIFE.

I have to start editing my novel. I am going to send it to all my friends that are editors so they can read it, and then I can start editing it down/writing more or whatever needs to be done, then I can send it to publishing companies. I actually know a couple of people that work at publishing companies too, so we will see what happens.

I think I am going to make this a year long project and then I will see where I am at the end of the year and if I need to extend the writing/editing process after that, I will.

Well, everyone have a great Christmas and the rest of your Holiday season!

xoxoxo

I hope you all find someone to kiss under the mistletoe!

Goodbye Brooklyn, Hello Harlem

I am moving to Harlem today. I woke up in Brooklyn, and I am going to sleep in Manhattan. Nice.

I am breaking dishes up in here, all night, I aint gonna stop until I see police lights.

I am up at 4:02 AM Sunday morning because I slept all day today and now I cannot sleep anymore. I hate waiting for people to call me, be it for a job, or for a date etc. People should just make up their minds weather or not they want to work with me/date me and NOT WAIT until four hours before we go forward to cancel or reconnect.

IT IS ANNOYING.

Tomorrow is my ex's birthday. He's turning 26 I think. He's a cool guy. Born on Pearl Harbor Day. Well, not literally because that day happened in 1941.

Okay, I am going to try to go back to sleep now.

The greatest hustler on earth I know is my mother...

I was riding the train the other day, and this guy came on the train and he started talking to himself. It was very unsettling because he looked normal, just like every other passenger. One thing that he said stuck out to me. He informed us all that he almost went to jail and this would be a bad thing because "the two things they would do to me in jail is 'fuck me and shank me.'" I burst out into laughter upon hearing this, and I wanted to tell him that he had just given us too much information, but I do not think that would have resonated with him.

I am on the home stretch of my novel right now. It is time for me to come up with a proper title. I have 49,019 words. A little under a thousand words to go and I will be all set! Exciting!

Writers block...

I just passed the 17k word mark on my novel. I am so exhausted. I am supposed to be at 25k yesterday. It is very overwhelming and daunting but I just have to keep plugging along. I may go to a write in today in Williamsburg, but I have yet to decide, as I have a busy day today. I have to go do a photo shoot in central park and also I have to go do a pick up day in a horror film in which I play a character called "the waitress". I will be doing the latter in Brooklyn so it should not be too hard to get to the write in from there, depending on how I am feeling and how tired I am. I think after I am done writing this, I will go back to sleep for a couple of hours before I have to get up and shower and go out to my first job. We are meeting in front of the Met.

I am actually really proud of myself for writing this entry because I have just been working like a dog writing and writing and writing my novel. Oh would it were be over. That would sure be nice.

How is your November going? Looking forward to Thanksgiving? I am. I am going to my mom's house and she says that some people that I have not seen in a long time are coming, so we will see. I am going to call her after I am done writing this so that I can find out who they are, I do not want any surprises! She apparently told my boyfriend but he of course does not remember what she said.

wow, I am really slacking on this blog

 Blame it on NaNoWriMo!!

I promise to write something lengthy soon!

NaNoWriMo...

is taking up all of my writing energy! I almost have 9k words! wooohoooo

Mad.

I am really mad right now.

NanoWriMo...

OH MY GOD, I have a little over 3k words of my novel written and I'm behind 2k words already! AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!

Does anything fun ever happen on Monday?

There is a lot of complaining that goes on about Monday.

"Oh, I hate Monday"

"It's the start of the work week"

"It's the end of the weekend"

"I can't believe I have to be up so early on Monday morning"

"God Damn Monday"

Lest we forget, my beautiful babies, (stolen from Conan O'Brien) that Monday is the day that most Holiday's fall on. So when we were kids we would get off school, and now that we are adults, we get out of work.

It's pretty sweet, if you ask me. So, I think we should all show Monday some fucking LOVE.

I can get mine, and you'll get yours

Nanowrimo starts today, but I have already been a terrible slacker, I have been cavorting around the city hanging out with friends. Also, I was supposed to go to a shoot today. I arrived at the place and got ready, only to have to photographer cancel because I had too many marks on my body WHAT THE FUCK?!

Normally, I would just write that as "WTF?!"  I think this time it deserved to be written out to show my disdain. Tomorrow I will start writing my novel, I promise.

Oh, and Happy November.

Halloween Shindig

Joe and I went to a party that Joe's friend Miranda was having at her apartment. It was a great time. I dressed up as Little Red Riding Hood. I am sorry that I do not have a picture to show all of you, my camera did not have memory on it. However, Joe's friend Chucks lady took a couple of pictures of us and they shoot be on Facebook soon.

Joe dressed up as a Pixie. He put on a red leotard and red stockings and a curly white wig. I did his make up. Oh yeah, and he had wings and a skirt. He got a lot of attention from the people walking the streets that night, they all wanted to take pictures of him. Some of them wanted to take pictures of me and him, but mostly just him.

All in all, the night was grand and we had a blast, we came home mildly wasted and had some macaroni and cheese with peas in it for a late night snack. Yum.

Oh, I am so bad

It happened. I was supposed to update this blog every day but here it is, THREE DAYS HAVE PASSED, since my last post. THIS IS VERY BAD. See, now I just have to come out and admit it. It's Okay though, even though I am super bummed I can just continue the project three days and it will now end on my brothers birthday, September 5, 2010.

SEE, I CAN FIX ANYTHING!!!

I got a new follower, yay!

I need to update my hedonistic hostess blog, it begs to be updated. I have been so lax about everything!

SOMEBODY SLAP ME!!


On the upside, HALLOWEEN IS TOMORROW.

what are you dressing up as?

Tonight...

... was very interesting.

Gender Bending...

Yesterday I was gender bending with my friends Hamza and Markman, they are both photographers. I was hanging out with Hamza earlier in the day and then Markman invited us over so we went to his place.

We all sat around and shot the shit for awhile, and then we shot some picture of me in faux bondage attire. Hamza kept saying he was going to "corwin it out" whatever that means. I wasn't too into the bondage deal, just because I don't know how people can be into that. Not that any of us are into bondage, obviously we are not, because we were making fun of it the whole time. The pictures came out nicely though.

After the faux bondage shoot we got some food, specifically wings with medium buffalo sauce and fries.

Then it was time for another shoot. I dressed up in Markman's tuxedo and we went down by the water and shot some pictures. Markman did a very good job posing as a makup artist. I have a photo for you all to gawk:

You know I'm such a fool for you...

You got me wrapped around your finger... Do you have to let it linger?

God, I LOVE The Cranberries. I so wish they didn't break up. Such a great band.

It is a gorgeous day outside and I'm not outside. WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?! Oh yeah, I know. I'm scared shitless because my friend Hamza is coming over to take me for a ride on his motorcycle!

ON HIS MOTORCYCLE!

I have never been on a motorcycle, but I have been on a vespa. Though I shrieked the whole time I was on the vespa. So, I really don't know how this one is going to go, because Hamza has a Ducati which is a really tiny motorcycle. I don't know how I'm going fit on it, really.

YOU MAKE THE WHOLE WORLD WANNA DANCE.

I better go get in the shower now to prepare for this great fun day on a motorcycle. Woooooo!


Oh, Jesus.

Yawning

I am supposed to go hang out tonight with my friend. I'm yawning a bunch though. I forgot what else I was going to write. Um.. I guess that's all for today.

Jerome saves the day

I locked myself out of my apartment. Well, I forgot my keys, but Joe knew I forgot them. I told him, rather I texted him while at work earlier today and he told me he would tape them to the mail slot. I was happy with this, so I went along with my day and then went to my second job. I don't get out of my second job until early in the morning.

I came home and I reached into the mail slot and felt for the keys. They were taped a bit to far up for my mitts but I managed to grab one key and pull it out of the slot halfway. I tried to force the keys out this way but that didn't work. I then tried to put both my hands into the mail slot and grab the keys and tear them free of their taped tapestry, but that didn't work either. In a last ditch effort I reached up with my right hand and broke the tape, but the keys slipped through my fingers and down to the floor they went.

I stood there, perplexed. I decided that the best idea would be to ride the subway back into the city and walk around for a bit. So that's what I did. Except in the early morning hours in the city, there are a lot of sketchy characters roaming about. I kept my guard up and just kept walking with my eyes straight and my nose pointed skyward, arms rigged and ready for battle should the situation arise that they needed to be called to action, they would be ready.

After a couple of hours of roaming around the semi well lit Midtown, I decided to give the apartment situation another go and this time I landed in front of my door at 6:05 AM. I tried calling Joe, but that didn't work, he was sleeping. I called and called and called and called and called to no avail. Finally, I decided to go over to the coffee shop that is right around the corner from my place and get some coffee and some breakfast since at this point I still had no idea when I was going to get into my building.

I told the coffee shop owner of my plight. He's French so I don't think he understood me when I first explained myself. He's a very nice guy though, he made me a very nice coffee just the way I like it, and a scrumptious egg and cheese sandwich, I devoured it, of course.  After I had finished eating my breakfast, it was about 6:30AM I tried ringing Joe again, I even tried calling my roommate. No one picked up.

I gathered some rocks and chucked them at the window. That didn't work. I tried calling my dogs name to see if he would wake up and in turn wake Joe up. That didn't work.

The bus driver even tried to help, he leaned on the horn to see if it would wake Joe up but it didn't work.

So, I went back to the cafe around 7:15AM.

I explained to Jerome that I had left my keys inside the apartment and he asked me where I lived and I told him that I was just around the corner and he said, "I come" and I was startled by this, since I really just wanted to sit in his cafe without having to buy anything for a couple of hours so I could give Joe enough time to wake up.

Jerome and I walked to my apartment and I told him that I lived on the second floor. I pointed out my windows to him and showed him the fire escape ladder that leads up to the windows. He promptly stood on the fire hydrant and made an awesome leap to try and catch the ladder to bring it down. it didn't work.

He then went and got a large trash bin and rolled it over to underneath the fire ladder. He stood on top of that and tried to pull it down. It wouldn't come down, and it was definitely stuck in that position. This did not stop Jerome though, he pulled himself up on that fire escape ladder like a gymnast and the whole time I was down on the ground calling to him to be careful. He climbed up and told Joe I was downstairs. Joe came down and let me in, he was so sad to see me standing there.

I watched Jerome leap to the ground effortlessly and I gave him a big hug.

Avoiding...

The curser blinks on the page waiting to be moved with the words.

Joe says I'm avoiding him... what does that mean? Sometimes I can be aloof. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, I threw up yesterday. Snacks was really excited to see me yesterday when I came home. He was licking me all over my face and up my nose and in my mouth. It was probably the most sexual moments I have had with that dog. He sure knows how to show his love and then to go way overboard.

"You don't want to go to a Pumpkin Festival on Saturday, do you?" Joe just asked me.

He says his friend E is trying to get him to go. He says it sounds boring.

Snacks is now trying to communicate telepathically with Joe. He keeps putting his head on Joe's shoulder and staring at him. I don't blame him because Joe has been taking Snacks mountain biking recently and I am sure Snacks has become very fond of this activity. However, this is the day off, and he will have to wait until tomorrow to go again, but I don't think time is of any consequence to dogs.

Snacks just jumped up on my lap.

Anyway, I didn't mean to write about my dog a bunch, I meant to write about the miscommunication that is going on with me and Joe. I really think I am emotionally retarded sometimes and I just don't get it. It's very frustrating to me because my intentions are not to hurt his feeling but in reality, I am doing a champion job at it so far.

AAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

How many chances to I get to fix this? Is it a lost cause? Can I take it back? Will he forgive me for another time? Is it his fault too? Is it anyone's fault? Do we even need to waste energy on this if it's just going to reach of mute point of misunderstanding time and time again and never really get resolved?

And how do I feel about all this? What is my stomach trying to communicate to me? Is it telling me that I really need to watch my step or that I really need to speak up or that I really need to keep my mouth shut?

I DON'T KNOW. And I could use some help. I'm drowning here trying to stay afloat and I think my life raft is about to sink. So if there is anyone out there who reads this blog and they want to share their thoughts on WHAT THE HELL I'M SUPPOSED TO DO;

I would really appreciate it, surely.

It is these times that I get the most confused. I'm 23 for God's Sake! I am not supposed to be thinking this deeply about life! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

And I just want to keep typing and rambling on so I can get all this verbal diarrhea out of myself, and the weight will be lifted off and I will feel better. SO FAR IT IS NOT WORKING! WHAT IS GOING WRONG? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? SOMETIMES I THINK I SHOULD JUST GO BACK INTO LANDMARK EDUCATION AND SIGN UP FOR THE COMMUNICATION COURSE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

throwing up

is really not very much fun.

at work

cant write very long because i am at my swinger club job right now. so i will edit this post and write more later.

Sick. Sick.

The other day at work, I stood outside for an hour in the rain. Why would I do this? Because one of our clients has Multiple Sclerosis and she has to take an Access-A-Ride home. Except for it was raining and frigid and she didn't want to wait by herself.

So I went down with her.

And we waited. And waited. And waited. And finally she was all "Oh, well it's been long enough, so now I can call the dispatch and find out where the truck is."

So she calls. "Ten Minutes." They say.

Ten minutes goes by.

She calls again. "Ten Minutes" They say.

Ten minutes goes by.

She calls again. "Ten Minutes" They say.

Ten minutes goes by.

Then she's all.. "Well after a half an hour you can take a cab, but I forgot to ask for a confirmation code when I was on that last call."

So I was all, "Give me your phone, let me call them."

So I call them and they say the freaking truck is in BROOKLYN!

BROOKLYN, PEOPLE!  We had been waiting outside for over an hour at that point!

I was all "I'm getting you a cab, this is ridiculous."

And she was all "Don't tell them I need help getting out"

Of course I didn't listen to her, because I don't want her to be in a car with jerk. So the first cabbie I asked turned me down and some concerned citizens were all "Did he say no?" "Oh my god, that should be a CRIME!"

And on top of this, she has to use the bathroom and neither of the restrooms on either side of us are accessible for her.

So she just has to hold it.

And then I finally get her a willing cabbie and he seems like a perfectly nice gent and I'm happy to send her off in his cab except now my hair is completely wet and I am freezing cold.

She kept asking me if I was going to get in trouble waiting with her and I was all, no of course i am not going to get in trouble. Besides, If I get in trouble for this, it's not a job I would want to have.

Can you slip away?

I'm listening to this Clarence Carter song right now about adultery. He put it  to a nice beat.

I saw Marge Simpson's pictorial for the November issue of Playboy and I have to say it has completely wrecked any idea I used to have about the Springfield matriarch. I am a bit of a mess about this. I thought seeing Marge's pictorial would be a liberating thing. But now whenever I watch the Simpson's I'm going to think about her pictorial and I won't be able to take her seriously anymore. I'll be like, "Look at you making breakfast, you God Damn hussy." She's forever disgraced in my mind. If Homer did a spread for Play Girl I would feel the same about him, so don't go calling me a hypocrite, now.


Here I am baby - Signed, Sealed, Delivered - I'm yours.

I like that song. It just finished playing now.

It's dreary and dark outside today. I don't hate the weather, but I don't particularly like it. It's kind of a mute point. It gives me plenty of excuses to not go outside, but I would rather it be sunny. Plus, I can take Snacks outside without freezing my buns off. Speaking of Snacks, we just got him back from an unintentional week at my mom's house and he has freaking doubled in size.

SEE?

He's enormous!

ugh

I don't think I was this annoying last month when I was on my period.

lady time

i have my lady time this week. my stomach hurts from cramps and i have my heating pad cranked up to its highest setting and its secured to my stomach via a sweater. I am trying to love my lady time. I really do. My lady time is good because it lets me know that I am not pregnant each month but it also reminds me of my fertility. It also lets me know of the choices I make every day to keep my body health, specifically the self cleaning oven called the vagina. Why is it that we don't like to say the word vagina but saying pussy or vag or kitty or poontang or snatch or box or pocketbook is just fine? IT IS CALLED A VAGINA!

I don't want to start echoing the vagina monologues but come on, people. I am a woman, not a girl, not a chick or a lady. a WOMAN and i have a VAGINA. And I like it like that.

I am going to my mom's tomorrow with Joe to pick up Snacks who has been there for the whole week. I am so excited to go pick him up. I miss him. My mom says he doesn't have any fleas but I don't believe her. I am taking the flea shampoo along. I think he will really like his home coming I am going to get him a big knuckle bone and maybe a new ball and he will love it. I hope that he remembers me and Joe. LOL.

Of course he does, I am just joshing. Joe kept telling me that he only missed Snacks when he dropped some food on the floor. I know he is lying though because when we took him to the vet that one time Joe was all protective and loving. He tries to hide it, but I know he loves that dog with all his might. And he has a lot of might.

Good Morning

This morning I got up and did my usual. I wrapped myself in my favorite pink towel, put on my slippers and sauntered out to the living room with the intention of going straight to the bathroom for a shower. That intention rarely realizes itself since I normally plop down in front of the computer and tool around on my usual websites (perez, dooce, sorry-mom, fmylife, thestranger) for a couple of hours until I eventually smell my armpits and get in the shower out of necessity.

I always check my blogs too, to see if there are any new comments and/or followers. I'm a bit obsessed I have to admit. If you are lurking this blog and you haven't become a follower, please do so, it will make my day. I know of a few of you I could confront, but I will not. I will let you become a follower in your own time.

Another component that is essential in my wake up time is Joe, but he's not here this morning, he's at a meeting he goes to every Thursday morning. So I don't have my smoothie or my egg on toast. It's tragic really, that I depend so much on him to feed me. But I love his food. I can make myself a bagel with cream cheese which is probably what I will do when I am done writing this entry.

I have got a day chalk full of work ahead of me. I have to go to my numero uno job and then to my swinger club job. busy day, busy day. So I made sure that I updated this morning so that I wouldn't have to update via my phone to keep my integrity to this blog intact. I like that I can update via my phone but it is tedious and I would rather do it on a computer, obviously because I am a pretty fast typer.

In any event, I hope all your mornings and afternoons and evenings go well, dear readers. Until tomorrow. Kisses and hugs to you all.

Jury duty is OVAH!!

I am so happy that jury summons is over. I have eighty bucks coming to me in the next six to eight weeks.

My advice to anyone who gets a summons in the mail, BE HONEST ABOUT EVERYTHING. AND JUST GO AND GET IT OVER WITH.

so, the jury i was possibly going to be seated for, was going to be the jury for this personal injury trial where this little old lady is suing the city because she tripped and fell on a city sidewalk. So the city's lawyer gets up to ask questions and he's all "so, I have no reason to believe this lady is not a very nice older lady, so if she cries during cross examination, are you going to want her to win?"


And I was all "yeah, of course I'm going to want her to win"

shoot 'em straight, i'm telling you. They discharged me for that one sentence, i'm telling you. I was all set to head straight for the jury and then that came to light and BAM! OUT!

YAY!

In other happy news, I got a bank account today. I have been without a bank account for over a year. And now I have a new one. My new bank is Wachovia and I feel the need to share this because my friend J says that she thinks their slogan should be something like "Wachovia, We'll Watch Ovah Ya"

I love it.

I was out of an account because I over drafted on my old account and didn't pay the balance back in time so they iced me out. DO NOT OVERDRAFT BECAUSE THE BANKERS WILL F YOU UP!

Well, you can overdraft but you have to pay them back in a timely fashion. THAT IS THE GOLDEN RULE!

i am watching the most boring movie

okay so i am at the movie theatree right now with joe updating with my phone. we are watching bright star which is the most boring fricken movie i have ever seen. joe says it is beautifully shot, but what do i know of that?

was at the courthouse today to sit for jury selection. spent almost the whole day twidling my thumbs and nearly fallingg asleep. my name was finally called at the beginning of lunch hour and even then i did not speak to the attorney's. i did, however get to sit in a selection room with 20 of my comrades and ten of them were empaneled for questioning. i sat and watched with the other ten. i got to read a good deal of barack obama's book dreams from my father. it is a very good book. president obama is a very good writer.

Jury duty is looming

I have to go to the court house and report for jury duty tomorrow! I don't know what to think about this! I thought that this would never actually happen! And since I don't have the guts to go in there and pretend to be a Russian Mail Order Bride, what am I going to do?!?

I do have another option. I could go in there and be all "Hi, you guys messed up the spelling of my first name, oh and also I have a mental disorder, called Bipolar Two disorder. I take mood stabilizing medication. What do you think about that? Do you still want me to sit on your Juror's bench?"

I already discussed having Jury Duty with my Shrink and she was all "I went before, it wasn't that bad, I got dismissed the first day"

And I was all "Oh yeah, you don't want to write me up a medical excuse so I can get out of this? Please? Pretty please?"

She totally didn't go for it. She was all, "No, you're fine."

I'm fine?!?! Then why do I have to come see your ass once every two weeks and every 90 days you have to write me another prescription for my mood stabilizer. Which by the way, does not have any refills ever. DO YOU NOT TRUST ME? I AM SENSING SOME DISTRUST IN OUR RELATIONSHIP. WE NEVER HAD ANY TRUST CONSIDERING YOU NEVER GAVE ME ANY DAMN REFILLS.

oiihag;kjbha'sdgha'lkdnsgakjbdgkasjbdkjbn/l.sdM ,Mbnkajsblkjnsm;OAKLJNakljnbd;glszka';sljn!!!!!


I HATE JURY DUTY already and I haven't gone yet!!!

the big dipper and orion

I saw the stars in the sky last night for the first time in what seems lik eons. The big dipper is especially beautiful to me because i have heard many songs written about it. geneally drom the slave era. the songs would tell the runaway slaves to follow the "drinking gourd" which is another name for the big dipper. specifically, they were supposed to follow the north star which is in the drinking gourd.

it is funny to me that my wv accent came back to me like a dam breaking into the deluge that engulfed the ninth ward. i starting adressing people as k how yall doing?" even if there was only one person there. so nostalgic.

i am writhing this entry via my verizon phone on the road as to not miss a day. i hope yall are proud of me. there will be an updated entry to my hedonistic hostess blog tonight for those of you that are interested.

i'm in west virginia

Chilling in my hotel room. Went to my childhood friend Lydia's wedding reception. I ate some really good food. And a good cupcake, with yellow icing.

The Hedonistic Hostess

Here is the debut of my "other" blog. It is called The Hedonistic Hostess. Here is a link to it:                                                                The Hedonistic Hostess

I hope you all enjoy it. Remember, it has a content warning attached to it, so go inside and read at your own risk.

Mindless Self Indulgance

Listening to MSI is like listening to someone have a seizure, but in a really good way. I really like their music. They have a sound byte from one of their concerts on one of their albums and it goes like this:

"When I say YOU, you say SUCK"

"YOU"

"SUCK"

"YOU"

"SUCK"

"YOU"

"SUCK"

"DICK"

Very funny.

And their pandora radio station mixes with Nine Inch Nails, so that's a plus.

I really need to work on my spin off blog that I said I would make on Tuesday, but I did not. I am going to set it up when I am done with this entry and I will debut it tomorrow. I think it should be quite popular. I will put it on blast to open minded friends and see who bites. And of course I will post an ad to it on this blog. This blog with definitely continue, no questions asked.

I cannot stand sinus headaches. They make me angry now. I have one now, and It's really pissing me off.

Now for some good news.

Joe and I are going to Pennsylvania this Friday to go to the film festival and to see my first cousin once removed, Trent Lara. He's my cousin Tad's child. That makes Tad the first to reproduce out of the four children bore to my Aunt Emily. Her real name is Susan, but she prefers Emily, her middle name, so she goes by that, naturally. Tad says Trent is 3 and a half months old and he is already tipping the scales at a hefty 17 and a half lbs. That's one chunky baby. Well, Tad was never known for his svelte figure though. Trent is the third child of his girlfriend Missy whom he met in Alaska while he was stuck there due to receiving a DUI. I hope they are happy together.

That is all for now, I'm on to setting up the spin off blog.

snotty nose

My nose is running. I hate when I have a snotty nose. It's really annoying. Just recently, I had to run for a tissue because some snot was about to run out of my nose and unto the floor, and that's just gross.

"marriages were usually economic arrangements to ensure bloodlines..."

"Classical Greece was truly a man's world.. "


Wow. I am watching "The History of Sex" on The History Channel. It's very interesting because in classical greece there is a HUGE DOUBLE STANDARD around sex going on. The guys are out philandering with all these different call girls and then they still say that their 'dutiful' wives are the ones that are insatiable! WTF!!?

This makes no sense to me. But this is ancient greece! Those times have come and gone for sure. And I am glad. But the gender roles have not really changed. It is still largely considered okay for a man to have a large number of sexual partners 'notching the belt' if you will. And then women are shunned when it comes to the amount of her sexual partners or should she let on about her sexual prowess she will be looked on as nothing more than a sexual feast for a male passerby.

I have read a great deal about this conundrum that seems to be centuries old. The women, or the girl, lets say is supposed to be virginal and 'untouched' this is the image we as a society have created around women. And so it becomes almost a sociopath tendency for a woman to break from this mold in any way. However, many women do break this mold. Me being one of them, I would like to think. I don't know, perhaps you should ask my boyfriend and see what he tells you along the lines of the subject of me and my sociopath tendencies around my sex life and my sexual experiences.


Aaaagh. I don't know why I put so much importance on this subject! Well, because it's really important to me! Women need to be liberated! Did you know that in 13 states in this nation it is legal for pharmacy workers to deny a woman any form of birth control for 'religious differences' ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME?!

Not to mention that Texas is one of these states, and in Texas it's not uncommon for a 16 year old who just had unprotected sex to be upwards of 200 miles from the nearest pharmacy that she can go to for help. SO SHE IS PRETTY MUCH SCREWED and here we go 'welcoming' another child into the world that is not prepared for and/or loved! OMG. THIS IS RIDICULOUS! Right now as I type this up, anti choice forces are getting together and pooling their respective resources and trying to slash funding for local community health resources like Planned Parenthood!! WTF?! I go there for my GYN care. Come on now, I don't have actual insurance, I have medicaid and medicaid cannot cover everything, not saying that all insurance can cover everything, but I don't want to get cervical cancer!!

WE CANNOT AFFORD TO GO BACKWARDS, PEOPLE!

Okay, so I live in NYC why am I complaining? BECAUSE THE RELIGIOUS RIGHT IS TRYING TO SODOMIZE ME AS WELL! Okay, that was an odd choice of words maybe. But I DON'T CARE!! I will stand for reproductive freedom and for sexual freedom for women until the day I die, which is not going to be for a long time, like I explained in my last post.

I have really been ranting long enough, but I will tell you, my heart rate is really up. It is racing, my hackles are up and my hands are shaking. This is an issue that is very important to me and it's not just a woman's issue. Men need to look into this too, you men need to know your reproductive rights as well (especially your custody rights) because unfortunately for you, many states would rather the child you share in common live with his or her mother, even if you are a much more fit parent than she. It is truly sad because I surely have seen a comeuppance of very responsible single fathers who are really stepping up their game.

Okay, this is all for now, I feel a lot better after getting all this off my chest. Whew.

oh man, oh man, oh man, oh man,

I just said that while I stretched. for real. I can't keep quiet when I stretch. Usually I say Ahhhhh or Ohhhh but this morning I decided to go with the tried and true, but rarely used "oh man" in succession. Which made me smile, because I didn't know what to write for the subject of this blog entry so I just wrote that and that is how I came to be writing this run on sentence right here. How do you like that direct correlation, huh?

It's genius!!

So yesterday evening, I got a call from my spanish teacher from a different number I did not know. I picked up the call anyway. He asked me if getting that call from him was weird, but I said no, of course it is not weird. I think he might like me, but I don't know I also could be reading waaaaaay too much into cultural relativity here, so I don't know.

Plus, I don't have the $ to pay him right now, or rather I do but i would rather spend it on something else. Oh well, sucks for him. I told him I would be in touch soon. I think maybe he got a little worried that his cash cow was backing out on him? LOL.

Oh geez, it's not even nine in the morning yet and I'm up. This is very unusual for me, all things considered.

What are these things considered you ask? Oh, if you must know I will tell you. I was out last night into the wee hours of the morning. I was working my night job that I might make a spin off blog about soon, I don't know, though because it will show a side of me unknown to many but relished by a few. I am happy to have it, of course. I get paid in cash, which is even cooler. I think I will set up that spin off blog. Starting this Tuesday eve.

Will YOU read?

so, somebody drowned in there before there was any water.

What? This is a sentence I overheard while walking the streets of new york today. What does that mean? It makes absolutely no sense. How can you drown without any water? Maybe they were talking about NEW water. Maybe the old water was still in the place where the person drowned and they came back to fill it up with new water the next day and OOOOPS there's a dead body in here. Well, just what in hell are you going to do about that? I don't know.

This is why I cannot work in any kind of detective profession. Especially homicide. I would faint, I wouldn't even make it past my first day of work without running out the door and sprinting home, dead bolting my apartment door shut with 876,259,724 new locks that I just picked up at the nearest hardware store which coincidentally is not that far from here (home depot) and then I would crawl under the covers and cry and cry and cry and cry, and then I would hope and pray that I get to die at the ripe old age of 102 in my sleep. With no illnesses to speak of, of course, just a nice old lady with a couple of cats who outlived her husband and now has a whole wad of cash to leave to her heirs when she passes on, which will be in her sleep without any illnesses to speak of and with a couple of cats which will then go and live with her favorite great grand children (these will be the ones that spend the most time with her.)

Yes, that is what I would do.

But this does not explain why I enjoy watching real life crime dramas on TV (ie. Cold Case on A&E) Joe thinks I'm silly for watching them, but I say it is because I like it when the bad guys get caught. And it's true, I do. I still cant look at any heinous footage though. My stomach turns. ,

I can't watch scary movies either. Nope, no way.

I went to watch, I think it was Wanted? with joe. That movie where they spin bullets and stuff. I think you know what I am talking about...

Anyway, I almost had to leave because I was getting nauseous.

I have started working out at the gym again. I just finished my second day today. I am very sleepy. I almost did not wake up for dinner. I took a lot of cat naps and ate lots of chicken. Mmmm chicken.

Okay, vegans, what's up with that? I'm not hating on you or anything, but, CHICKEN!!! it tastes so gooooooood! And you guys don't just not eat chicken, you also say that cheese makes you fat! What? Okay maybe it can make you fat, but I don't think I have to worry about that in the slightest at the moment because my body looks really really good, and now that I am working out with my trainer again it's going to look even better!

So, SUCK ON THAT, VEGANS!!

Don't be a fool

I forgot to tell you guys about something that happened a week or so ago. I was walking in Union Square, as I often am, in the afternoon and I walked by the outer fence of the park. It was after school had gotten out and all these unruly young people were perched upon said outer fence. One of the girls was screeching out the word "penis" at various intervals, at different audible levels so that all the passerby could hear her.

Any other day, I would find this amusing, I really would. But having just previously seen the movie 500 days of Summer wherein there is a scene in which Summer calls out the word "penis"in a park much like the aforementioned scenario.

And it just so happened that just as I was walking in front of the girl calling out the word "penis" she screeched it so loudly that my hand whipped up to my ear to cover it, involuntarily. I stopped in my tracks, turned to her and said "Stop watching 500 days of Summer, OK?" To which one of the boys perched upon the fence responded with "OOOOH" and the girl called out to me to stop being a crack head as I walked away.

Ah, kids these days.

Don't stop, don't stop till you get enough!

The seasons are changing, the seasons are changing! Fall is coming, fall is coming! Well, technically fall is already here. But it really hasn't shown its true colors until the past day or so.

I gotta stop having these late nights.

But they are so much fun!!

The pro's and con's of life, I say. Never ending conundrum.

I am developing a bit of wanderlust. I don't know if this is a good thing, because it is a major factor in what drove my parents apart after more than 20 years of marriage...

My dog is pleading with me right now to play with him. Pleading, I say.

Okay, we (me and joe) just spent all this time running around the living room chasing snacks and now I think he (snacks) is sufficiently tired out.

I am not tired out because I have been sleeping most of the day. It's the late nights I tell you, those late nights that open my eyes to so many aspects of humanity. I am thinking of starting a spin-off blog about my late nights on Tuesday and Thursday nights and see where that goes. Of course, I will have to conceal the identities of the unknowingly story participants.

New York Post trucks drive very recklessly

that's all i have to say about that.

The fast forward button is so far away

I just got up and brought the remote control over here. I have about seven minutes to finish this entry before the midnight deadline. I could just turn right around and write the next day's entry. october first! woooo. Another month. And october second will be the one month anniversary of this blog. I'm excited. I have almost stuck to my goal for one whole month! Awesome sauce. Seriously. For reals.

I want to start listening to more classical music

I can't twist my hair with my pen yet. It doesn't hold all the way. Almost there. almost there, give it another 2 or three months and I will be happily using any old implement to fix my hair into a bun. or a disheveled hot mess on some axis of my head. I like messy hair. It's getting to the point where I really dreading combing my hair once a week because I like the way my hair looks when I don't comb it. I think I am just going to do what I like and that will be that.

Got word from Joe's friend that she's going to feature me on her (writing?) website once she and her colleagues get it up and running. I'm assuming that it is a writing website because Joe said it was something to that effect. Anyway, that's super exciting. I'm very excited about it. Yay for me! Then I will get more traffic to my blog and more exposure and more people will see my writing. It's like an adrenaline rush that I can feel right now. Sharing myself and my writing is awesome, awesome to me.

I am going to start a new job really soon so Joe and I went to EMc2 and got some outfits for me to wear. I really like the outfits that I picked out and EMc was really nice to let me have them. I am really excited to wear them. I love getting the fashion advice now, which is so funny because 8 months ago I would be like, wtf, whatever, I don't care about fashion. But now I love it. I was just hiding my secret love for fashion behind my silliness and made up facade. Plus, now I look super hot all the time, and you really can't beat that. And I almost never get anymore negative attention from guys. Of course I get some negative attention, but mostly the guys just don't talk to me because they already think that I am out of their league. It's a great douche deflector, fashion is. I can't stand douche nozzle behavior.

Anyway, classical music, yeah. I think it makes you smarter? I like it. I listen to it when I am getting a massage. Yup, It's time to make a pandora radio station for Mozart, Beethoven and Bach.

Any other suggestions?

Well can't we just laugh and joke around?

Apparently I laugh at things a lot more than other people do. That's okay, it just means I will live longer. I like to make light of serious situations. And I like to laugh at the expense of others personal pain. Who doesn't? Come on when there is a crash on the highway in one of the oncoming lanes, the outbound ones slow to a crawl to see if they can get a glimpse of a mangled body. It's human nature, people! Lighten up! There are those people who are going to die in massive car accidents and that is just how it goes.

I don't drive a car so my chances of dying in such an accident are relatively low compared to others who drive to work, drive to the gym, drive to pick up kids, drive down the block.

A couple of years ago I was looking at some statistics about which ways were the most popular ways people can die. heart disease and cancer were one and two. Suicide and homicide were up there amongst despondent teens and young black males killing each other off. I think "massive car accident" was way down the list, but it made me think about how I always stop and gawk at the two pileups I have seen going the other way. How the hell do you start a pile up anyway? It has to consist of drivers who aren't paying any attention.

I think maybe I should have washed my hair today.

Yep.

Joe just got out of the shower and I must say his love handles are steadily declining, much to my delight, of course.

My friend Jen is coming back from being abroad in the next month for 6 to 8 months so she can save up for her visa. yay! It will be good to see her. I must tell her about my novel writing intentions. She will smile wryly and say "Lets get started, show me what you've got"

At least that is what I imagine her doing. I told her that I wanted to come to London for a vacation. I just have to save up some money with Joe.

To London with Joe! yay!

Walter: He's a baby

My friends E and J came over yesterday. They're married, and they have a baby named Walter who is 2 and a half months old. Walter is a pretty big baby. He's all ready wearing a nine months outfit. I got to hold him, rock him and jump him up and down, that kid has some strong kickers. Very strong kickers. And he has a strong grip, very strong grip. And he smelled good. I kept sniffing his head. Do all babies smell like this? J said they only bathe him twice a week. That has to be a bold faced lie. Because he smells too good for that.

Joe says that I have all these mother hormones raging in my body right now. Maybe so, that's what happens when girls hold babies.

Hung out with my ex boyfriend ernie yesterday also. I really don't know what do to with that kid. He lied to his mother about who he was hanging out with because he didn't want his brother to find out because his brother hates me and is a lot stronger than ernie. I don't get it. Why do I cause people to have such strong opinions?

It really is a talent of mine. Really and truly.

The Shins

My new obsession: The Shins.

I love them. I made a pandora radio station named the shins and I have been listening to it since last week. Can't get enough. I also bought myself some hair things from family dollar. I am buying hair things from there from now on. They're only a dollar for a ridiculous amount of hair things!

The other day, I was supposed to meet my ex in union square so we could hang out. I left my phone at home so I told joe to text him when he got home. So joe did. he texted him that I was at starbucks and my ex texted back that he was at mcdonalds what the fuck? I don't know. So, I finally remembered my ex's number and I called him via pay phone and he was all whatever mela. And then I called him the next day and I apologized again and he said "I'm not mad at you, I just think you are ridiculous" So I had to call Joe and tell him this because it was just too funny since he calls me ridiculous all the time.

Right now joe is at the laundromat washing an inordinate amount of dirty clothing. Luckily for me, all I have to do is fold the laundry. Something that I secretly love to to because it is very systematic.

There is a homeless man with one arm that comes on to the subway and panhandles for money and he puts his cup in the armpit of his amputated arm. I have seen him on three separate occasions now, and on each occasion at least three people have given him a donation. It kind of makes me feel sad for the other people who panhandle for money one the subway. They have both their arms. But I guess on the other hand, this guy cannot play the guitar or any other instrument for that matter, but maybe he was never musically inclined in the first place, however, he could have a very nice singing voice.

I went and gave money to the b boys. I always give a donation to them. I like dancing.

sleepy again

i'm not up for writing today. maybe tomorrow.

my god so tired.

so i went out yesterday morning to go to an appointment and then I walked around and window shopped and then i went sunning in the park. then i went out to hang with friends and missed the last train home so i had to stay over, but i stayed up all night because i thought joe was going to be upset at me for not bringing back the unlimited metro card because we share it. i texted him right before my phone died and i said i was soo so sorry and that i was catching the 516am train home. which i did. and to please not be mad.

his text back to me was this:

"don't worry about it. Take your time. Just let me know when you are not taking the train home so I don't wonder if you're stuck somewhere"

Amazing text people.

This is amazing text.

Why?

Because I spent the whole train ride home and the subsequent subway train ride home running scenario's through my head that because i didn't have the metro card ready for him at five in the morning so he could go to the meeting that he was going to be so angry at me... and I built it all the way up to that we were going to have to BREAK UP because of the great metro card debacle of 2009.

OH MY GOD. this is what goes on in my head.


All silliness. Absolute silliness.

jury summons and the inner dialogue

got a jury summons in the mail today. awesome. not. i got one in the mail six months ago and I postponed it. god damn judicial system remembered that i was in the system. But my first name is spelled "Mila" on the letter instead of "Mela", so should I go and do my best impression of a mail-order bride from Russia? this may be my only chance to do so. I'll show up at the court and say:

"Hi, I sink you haf ze wrong ladee, I eem straaate frum de USSR as a mail ordur bride und i don't know of zis jury summonsz. Pleese let me be becuz I have sum baby makeeng to do und a much much older husbund to take care of. Zanks."

Something tells me that would not go over very well.

Went to see The Informant tonight with Joe. I highly recommend it. There is a lot of inner dialogue in the movie narrated by Matt Damon for his character "Mark Wittacre" Joe was laughing the whole movie because he said the inner dialogue parts reminded him of me. I will take that as a compliment. He says I should write a movie with inner dialogue in it. He says i would be very good at it. I think he is right.

I can't wait for NaNoWriMo. I am so itching to start but I promised myself that I wouldn't even think of the book until November 1. You have to write a work of fiction. I don't know this might be a hard one for me? Maybe I could write a work of fiction loosely based on my life. Because everyone knows that I like writing about myself.

....Imagine all the people living live in peace.. yoououuuu may say I'm a dreamer but i'm not the only one...

Oh, John Lennon, why did you have to die? Why did you have to go live in the Dakota and have a normal everyday schedule like everyone else? Why didn't you have security? And why oh why did you say to that interviewer that you were going to die at the hands of a crazed fan? Way to kick your own bucket, Lennon! Geez!

Look at me now, I'm yelling at John Lennon for getting murdered. And he died five years before I was even born. What has gotten into me? I really should be mad at that guy who wrote the catcher in the rye. What's that guy's name? I know the main characters name is Holden Caulfield.

I know the jury summons people got my name from voter reg because voter reg spelled my name wrong but they still let me vote on election day. Damn, it's like all of us don't even exist sometimes if people can make such gross errors with our identities and then be all "ooops, sorry we just accidentally sent 16,0000 social security card numbers OVERSEAS. Our bad. No, you can't get your money back, that's simply impossible.

Nope,

Sorry.

NaNoWriMo

Okay, so it's called NaNoWriMo, National Novel Writing Month, Not NANOREMO, I only had the 're' confused. And I officially signed up. And it's not 500,000 words, it's 50k so that means I only have to write 1.6k a day and i'll be in like flynn. Sounds easy right now but we'll see. Last year there was a cool perk for 50k winners. Amazon published their novels in paperback for them, they even paid for shipping! I hope they do that again this year! It would be really swell to see my book in paperback.

I'm watching the original Angels in the Outfield right now. It's pretty cool.

Joe and I went and did some free yoga at this bar down the way from our place. Yoga in a bar, who would have thunk it? and it was free, of course, that was the best part.

May be working on Thursday instead of Tuesday this week. The doctors cousin may be coming into town tomorrow and she needs a job. Keeping it in the family, I am lucky that I got in. Ooops. Not supposed to be talking about work, moving along.

I really want to go get a massage soon. I just asked Joe if We could go get a massage soon and he said ok. See? All you have to do is ask.

Soon-to-be-ex-roommates mom is staying till wednesday. She's super cool and nice.

So, I am suggesting that everyone who reads this blog signs up for NaNoWriMo with me so we can all agonize and write and then cry and then drink, or virgin drink in my case, then write, then cry, then laugh, then write some more, then write, write, write, then tear our hair out, then twist tissues up in our hands, then forget to eat, then emotionally break down, then write to the bitter end.

Sounds fun!

Fall officially starts at 5:18PM today and I can't wait. Fall is my favorite season. Fall foliage is especially breathtaking to look at. So, so pretty. I want to take a drive in the country and take along some binoculars and just gawk out the window the entire two hour drive. Joe will glance over once or twice and I will tell him to keep his eyes on the road, as we simply can't have two blithering idiots in the car at one time.

I love fall also because of the fall fashion. Yes, I just said fall fashion, you did read that correctly. Yes, I am looking at you Joe, and maybe Jocelyn if you are reading this. I like fall fashion the best because I think you can dress it up or dress it down the easiest. You can be brave and bare your legs or you can be completely bundled up and still look chic, plus no one will look at you weirdly for being completely bundled up, and yes, I am looking at you again, Joe. This fall I want to have a managire of jackets and a color palate of tights that betsy johnson would be jealous of me for owning. I want to have skirts that accentuate my long legs and shoes that are better than lingerie.

On that note, my lingerie wardrobe needs desperately to be updated. I just threw out most of my underwear due to an abundance of holes. Such a travesty, really. Why would a really good looking girl like me be walking around in warn out knickers. It ought to be a crime. I don't like shopping at Victoria's Secret, I think their Lingerie is not very good quality.

Any of you ladies know where to find good quality lingerie at a modest price tag?

please click on the ads

i signed up for adsense. call me a sell out, call me savvy, call me what you want but whatever you call me, if you would please click on the ads displayed on my blog while you are calling me whatever you are calling me, i would really appreciate it because I could really make some serious dough depending on how many people click on my ads while reading my awesome blog.

Anyone know how to promote this blog so I can get more traffic to it? Everyone knows that I like to make money while relaxing, especially Joe.

It's after midnight and Joe and I just made fried tofu with soy sauce and ginger dressing. Mmmm Mmmm good. We had to make something because we are watching Iron Chef and of course it's a food show and watching food being cooked makes me hungry.

Hell, I think even if you hear food being cut your mouth can start watering. Damn.

I know mine does. Every time Joe says "'Hey, I'm going to make dinner,' or 'Hey, what do you want to eat?' or the ever popular, 'Hey, are you hungry?'"

My mouth immediately salivates, even if it was just dry as the driest desert, it suddenly becomes like the mouths you see on the orbit commercials.

Joe just said his second favorite thing he likes to say to me, "Alright baby, you ready to go to sleep?" He usually asks me this when I am in the middle of doing something, like exhibit A, writing my blog. If I tell him "No, I am writing my blog." He usually goes, "Okay" and saunters off. He doesn't even put up a fight anymore. I guess I learned that boy good. Mmmm Hmmm.

Anybody heard of that novel writing competition called Nano remo? I don't know if it's a national thing or even if the name is capitalized like NANO REMO or if it's all together like, NANOREMO. or if i just spelled it completely wrong. I don't know. I learned about it on Jeopardy. Apparently, what it is, is a novel writing challenge. One has to write a 500,000 word novel in the month of November.

Alex Trebek (the host of Jeopardy) was asking the contestant if content mattered. The contestant just said, "I think word count is all that matters".

I think I might enter this thing if it's a national thing. First I have to figure out how many days are in the month of November and then divide 500,000 by 30 or 31 so that I will know how many words I have to write in a day. Okay so Joe just figured out for me that November has 30 days in it. Now he's doing the division.

And the word count per day is... 16,666.667 woah. Do you know how many term papers long that is? Jeez.

I think I might do that. I would definitely be stepping out of my comfort zone. Most definitely. Whew.

saturday night live

I'm watching Saturday Night Live right now with Joe. It's a re run but it has Will Ferrell hosting it. I really like Will Ferrell. He's a very funny guy. It's a re run of the season finale and everyone is coming back and making cameos. Amy Pohler and Maya Rudolph and Norm MacDonald and Tom Hanks. There's a movie preview on right now for the movie 'Zombie Land' and Joe says the movie looks dumb. Yeah, it does look dumb!

What is with hollywood making all these remakes and these dumb movies that turn out to be box office bombs? I mean WTF? I mean, I heard they are making a remake of Teenage Wherewolf. Leave Michael J. Fox's movies alone! Especially the Back to the Future Series. Come on people! Get it together.

I needn't be complaining about hollywood. They say if you point a finger, you've got three more pointing back at you. Now look what I have gone and done, I have just gone and outed myself. One of my dreams in life is to be a screenwriter. I want to write screenplays for people to enjoy on the big screen. Like Woody Allen, Diablo Cody, that guy who wrote Inglorious Basterds. Quentin Tarantino thats who. Alfred Hitchcock, Kevin Smith, Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Jane Campion, Nancy Myers. All people I want to be.

So, what stops me you might ask? Well, I don't want to fail. And I don't have any screenwriting schooling. And I don't know what I want to write about. All excuses I know.

I have a couple of started screenplays. Sitting in my room gathering dust, weeping tears of solitude, filled with rage that I am not paying attention to them. Swearing that I will rue the day that I started to pen them should I decide to pick them up again. How dare I? How dare I start something and not finish it! What kind of promise to myself is that? Not a very a kept one, I tell you.

My friends Jen and Julie came over and read my initial notes of one of my screenplays and they both said it was very very good. Except for a writer complimenting his or her work when he or she is still agonizing over the work can mean death to the project. DEATH, I TELL YOU.

I am putting my foot down. After I wake up from my very restful sleep I am going to dust off said screenplay that died at the hands of compliments and continue to work on it! I will soldier on.

SOLDIER. ON.

sleeping late

oh man i slept so late today. that's what happens when I'm on my period. I just get so sleepy, for the whole week, i'm not even kidding you. This  morning Joe tried to wake me up but I just kept spewing expletives at him. In my defense I was half asleep and VERY grouchy. He's used to it though. He says that he gives me a pass, so that's good.

Right now, I am watching True Life. This one is about student athletes who get injured while playing sports and have to go to rehab. It's sad, but they are all making leaps and bounds in their recovery. One kid became paralyzed. Kind of a bummer but you could go to the Para-olympic games.

Now it's moved on to superfans of teams. We've got Reby the self proclaimed NY Giants girl (interestingly enough, my friend knows her), a couple who is half a red sox fan and half a yankees fan and then some other guy who I forget who he likes, but he likes them a lot.

The yankees/redsox fan couple has just hit a roadblock because they moved in together and the girl has all her NY Yankees gear put up in their apartment and there is no Red Sox stuff anywhere. So he goes to the sports goods store and buys a HUGE Red Sox banner and puts it up while his GF is at work. She sees it and takes it down and then they have this huge breakdown about their relationship blah blah blah.

Seriously?

It is JUST a game.

And then we see Reby, who moved to FLA to be with her boyfriend who looks like he's over 50, (she's 22) and they've been together for a few years. The last scene we saw her in, she told the BF that she was moving back to NY to be close to her team. Barf.

She's very good looking though.

It's all in my head and the things i think just don't make sense.

Time and time again I play the role of fool, just for you.

Okay so I'm directly quoting an Adele song "Cold Shoulder" from her album, 19.

The lyrics are so true for me! I am the only person who lives in my head. I'm the only person who thinks like me, acts like me, likes the things exactly the way I like them. Yes, even though I have a twin. She likes some things differently than me.

And yes, sometimes the things I think just don't make sense.

Repeat after me: "Thank you for sharing, thank you for sharing, you are safe and you are visible so go be the superstar that you are"


AWESOME!

The roommate search continues. We just had a guy come by he seems interesting, has a degree in architecture and works designing christmas window displays for bergdorfs. how cool is that?

I think I want to take a bath today. I'm lucky to have an old school claw foot tub in my apartment, big enough for my lanky 6 foot tall frame. MMM yes.

Is it just me or are other people getting sick of Norah Jones?

Saw Adele perform last night Live on VH1 DIVA's she was very good. I like her more than I used to like Amy Winehouse. But I still hope that Amy Winehouse makes a comeback so I can enjoy listening to her music again.

Today is September 18, 2009. Exactly four months until my 24th birthday. What are you getting me?

the break up on the train and dessert wine

No, Joe and I did not break up, just going to clarify that before some of you gasp in horror (some of you may gasp with glee, since I'm positive that there is a line out the door and around the block for my heart.)

GONNA BE A LONG WAIT!

I saw a young couple break up on the train yesterday. He totally broke up with her on the train! WHAT AN ASS. Okay, so he gets points for breaking up with her in person but in public? On the train where she is trapped looking at his ugly face until she gets to her destination!?! AND WHAT IF THEY LIVED TOGETHER?  The questions will never end!

She was sobbing her eyeballs out, I seriously wondered if they were going to stay in her head. That's how hard she was sobbing.

I had to stifle and overwhelming urge to go over to her, taker her in my arms and hug her and rub her hair and then tell her:

"Oh HONEY, teenage sex is NEVER THAT GOOD! It won't be that bad! Just go have some drinks and... OH, hey, never mind, you can't drink. WHAT ABOUT A BROWNIE?"

Magically a brownie will come out of nowhere and I will present it to her and she will look up and smile, all tears will dissipate AND ALL WILL BE WELL IN THE WORLD OF YOUNG LOVE!

The train that me and the ex-couple were on was taking me to meet Joe and his friends for dinner. Joe had just finished photographing a very famous designer's show and he got the job from his friend and between him and his friend they know some very cool people in NYC.

So, dinner. We had reservations at 10pm which were made two days prior WHICH IS UNHEARD OF at this restaurant. Man, that Joe with ALL HIS CONNECTIONS. It's amazing!

We had to wait to be seated until 10:45pm and had a great time, great food and raucous laughter all around. I don't think I'm going to write much about about this particular dinner because it might be too much of an invasion of privacy for some parties involved and I don't want to hurt anyone's feelings.

(SOMEONE AT THE DINNER TABLE IS GETTING A MINTED VAGINA IN A COUPLE WEEKS)

okay, that's all.

Awesome older ladies

Joe and I were coming home on the train yesterday from the movies (we watched Taking Woodstock, I highly recommend it).

We stepped onto a crowded train and I was upset because there were no seats available, and then magically, one became available because the train was taking a different route unexpectedly which didn't affect us. I walked around one side of two people to get to the seat and this other guy walked around the other side of the same two people to get to the seat. We didn't see each other until we were staring each other down, the vacant seat between us. We both just stood there for a second and then the guy abruptly yelled "FUCK!" And walked off the train. I got the seat.

I sat down and looked around the train and kind of giggled at Joe and he just smiled back and shrugged. Open seats are a precious commodity on NYC subway trains.

I realized I was sitting next to two very adorable looking older ladies who were dressed in ladies' suits and had 'Vote September 15, 2009' pins on their blazers. One of them asked me if the train was going to a specific stop and I said, "Oh, I think this train will go there" but then the conductor came over the loud speaker and she said that this train was permanently taking an alternate route so then I told the ladies that I didn't think the train would stop at their stop anymore.

Then Joe pitched in to help the ladies find their way home, and the guy sitting next to me also did. The ladies and I were chatting about voting and about how much Brooklyn is awesome and what we liked about it. A little while later we all figured out what the best course of action was for the ladies to take on their get home journey was and then Joe and I got off the train to switch to ANOTHER train.

Sounds exhausting, right? It really wasn't.

When we got on the new train I sat down and Joe settled himself next to the door. I tried to talk to him but he couldn't hear me. I told him to come over by me and he said:

"Nope, I'm pretty comfortable right here"

So I texted him this:

"there is a fedex kinkos guy on the train. too bad i don't have my package."

(I have to send my old phone back to verizon and time is running out)

He responded with:

"I thought you were going to talk about the shirtless guy who is playing with his balls."

I giggled at his reply and told him that "these are SO going in my blog."

Then the shirtless guy who was sitting across from me playing with his balls got up and left at the next stop, so Joe sat down at his now vacant seat and sent me this text:

"Smells like balls over here"

To which I replied:

"you chose to sit there is sweaty ball juices. you might as well be gay. at least i won't have to worry about rihanna." Giggling the whole time as I was writing this and then pressing send.

Joe's response? "I was tired"

What? I was tired? I looked at him and said, WTF you were tired, what does that mean? And then he said I won. Well that's good because what you guys don't know is that a couple of days ago, Joe and I were watching Jay-Z, Kanye and Rihanna perform on Jay Leno's new show and Joe decided that it would be a good idea to share with me that he thinks Rihanna is F-Ing HOT!!!

OH NO HE DIDN'T. YES HE DID.

He then preceded to hug me and make a sad puppy face when I protested to this and hastily added; "but not as hot as yyyyooooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuu."

WHATEVER.

Staring

My dog is staring at me. I know he wants to play. I told him to find his ball. Apparently he really doesn't know where it is because he looked around and came back looking even more pitiful. Damn his pitiful dog face.

And now I just looked around and I can't find it, either. More pitiful dog face. Oh No.

WE GOTTA GET MORE BALLS UP IN THIS PLACE.

He's back to sniffing around. That's a good thing.

I have to change Shark's water today. It will be good for him to have some fresh water. It's cool to have a betta fish because they don't require aggressive care. Just feed them once a day and change half of their water once a week. Every four to six weeks, change all their water. Betta Fishes can breath air so you can keep them in small bowls, but they live twice as long if you hook them up with a 2.5 gallon tank and a filter, which is what I am planning on doing for Shark. Yup he's going to live like a King Betta.

There are a lot of job spammers on Craigslist. It's really such a drag. Well, it sucks for them because I can always tell if they're a spammer.

The other day, I sent my resume off to this ad for a receptionist gig. The person who posted the ad ended it with "send your resume in for perusal" I liked that line and thought it added a personal touch, and so I thought "this can't be a spammer, right?"

WRONG.

The Spammer sends back this e-mail saying that his wife is pregnant and they are coming over to the States to work with the EPA and that they need a receptionist. He goes on to say that he will send funds so that I can buy myself a computer and for some office supplies and for my first two weeks wages.

GIVE ME A BREAK!

Your wife is pregnant?!?! Talk about garnering sympathy. And he picked the EPA for his fake job. I'm sure they need the help, BUT IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU WERE ACTUALLY COMING!

Oh, I left out the best part. He says "All I need is your complete honesty." and then goes on to write:

I need your:

Name
Age
Gender
Address

WTF??? WAS I FREAKING BORN YESTERDAY?!? Sigh...

Anyone know what happened to Dido?

Noises outside.

There's a building being constructed right next to my building. That's fine with me EXCEPT IT COMPLETELY BLOCKS MY VEIW OF ANYTHING PRETTY. My neighbor said that they're building it too tall. She said that I should report it. Maybe I will after a new comptroller takes office and wants to make an example out of some shadesters in brooklyn. Is that mean of me? Some of you may ask. No. It is not. If the building is too tall it shouldn't be being built. I could be saving lives!

This morning I woke up to my necklace choking me. Don't wear necklaces to bed, kids.

Watched "Love, Actually" yesterday with my movie watching buddy. It's actually a pretty good movie. I enjoyed it. Know what I did not enjoy? Subway. I don't think I'll be eating at Subway any time soon. You wouldn't think I disliked my sandwich because I ate it all. But it wasn't anything like Joe's cooking.

Let me tell you about Joe's cooking. MMMMmmm good. I'm telling you you. That man spoils me when it comes to food and I am not complaining. He likes to have dinner parties. For the next one, I'll invite you.

Back to Love, Actually. Some of it's plot lines are set in London during Christmas time. It makes London look so pretty and inviting. But then my friend said he went to London and it's not nearly as inviting if you don't have someone to love while you're there.

I shed a tear inside for him.

Water does a body good.

I think they made a commercial like that one time. Water Does A Body Good. DRINK IT or something. Or maybe it was Water makes you happy. Or Water makes your body happy. DRINK IT!

there is church service going on downstairs. I live above a church. It wouldn't be so bad except the patrons are terribly off key when they sing. not a one good singer in the bunch. it's a shame really. I met a few of the patrons and some little girls one time when I was coming home from walking my dog and the little girls loved him. They went and got him water and played with him. At the time he was still a young pup so i was afraid that he might poo or pee on the floor. And they have a rug. Thankfully he didnt do either of his business down there.

Later today I am going to meet a potential new roommate and his dog with my dog. We are meeting at the dog park. His dog is 12 years old and has limited use of his back legs, my dog is not yet two years old and is very territorial, so i figured we would meet in a neutral location so that my dog can begin to learn how not to be soooo territorial and to share. because i want him to have friends and be sociable.

Yesterday I taught my dog a new way to fetch. he seems to like it and he gets much more exercise doing it. I made sure he was out of breath then he lay down next to me and panted for about an hour. it was a good day. And we didn't even go outside for that. We were inside the whole time. That's one of the good things about having an apartment that is 2,500 square feet because you can tire out your dog without going outside.

After I meet up with the potential roommate and his dog, i'm going to visit a friend of mine and we are going to watch a movie or two. should be fun considering i have not seen him in over two years and last time I saw him I beat him at scrabble. It was a valiant match up though, very valiant indeed.

He kept saying throughout our glorious battle that I was probably going to win by a few points.

AND GUESS WHAT? I DID!

PRAISE THE LORD, PRAISE THE LORD, PRAISE THE LORD, PRAISE THE LORD, PRAAAAAAAIIIIIIISSSSSSE THE LORD.

that is what i hear downstairs just now. No offense to people from Africa, but i find most of their American accents to be extremely annoying. If i find it so annoying maybe i should learn to speak african. Yes. I will make that one of my goals.

I watched Iron Chef America last night and there was a battle between Mario Batali and Jamie Oliver. I think his name was Jamie. Anyway, Oliver was the challenger and he only lost by three points.

CAN YOU BELIVE THAT? only three points. Challengers rarely ever win against Batali and when they loose, they usually loose terribly. So kudos to Oliver.

Casually wistling

Almost forgot to write my free write today. Oh man, that would have been something, here I am saying that I'm going to write a free write every day for a year and i crap out 11 days into it. I think that would be my new record for flubbing it up. of course if that had happened I would just change the rule to free write every day for 11 days then take a break for one and rest my hands so they don't get carpal tunnel. something like that, because i'm cheeky in that way. was talking to a friend of mine who said he wanted to go to open mic night. i said sure that i would go with him but i couldn't promise that i wouldn't chicken out. he said that was okay. say's i'm funny too. that's a good ego booster but still i think that i am unintentionally funny so i don't know how i would write a comedy set around that. any ideas? he said that bill burr said that it took him a year of shitty coffee shop gigs to get a headline gigs. sounds like a tough job. Also, i'm really not into the apparent asshole-y ness of male comedians. it's like all they want to do is get laid.

and not that i'm hating but. barf.

Walking in the rain

Today i got myself a spanish teacher. I am very excited about it. I want to meet three times a week for an hour and become fluent very fast. yay! sooo excited. did a lot of walking around in the rain today, my pants are wet below the knee on both legs. and i kept stepping in standing water, my feet got cold and my shoes got dirty. my shoes got dirty so then my feet got dirty. Lately it's been happening to me again. i see babies and i want one. it's a natural evolutionary bit about being a lady. and for guys it's scientifically proven to carry around a baby if you want to get a date. is that weird? do you think that's weird? i love project runway. the show always makes me want to be a designer. maybe i could go to parsons and see what it's all about. I don't draw like other people though, but you know, i think they teach you that? the first designer kicked off the show didn't sketch. she said she looked at the fabric and asked it what it wanted to be created into. but she's the first kicked off. so i guess not sketching didn't work for her in the context of project runway. joe and i went to lush today which is this awesome soap store that is vegan. joe bought me these awesome skin care products and i used them in my bath tonight and they made me feel prettier. man this show makes me want to be a designer. i'm watching project runway right now by the way. omg i love this show. LOOOOVE THIS SHOW love it, love it, love it. i have to go now because i'm going to watch the runway show, my favorite part!

Nine messages in my inbox

Once a year, I clean out my email inbox. Having gmail as my email account is really cool because you can get all the messages you want. AND YOU NEVER HAVE TO DELETE ANY OF THEM. It's so awesome. but then I start seeing 1400 some messages that are unread and I just can't take it. So I go through and just mass delete all these messages. Then the inbox is completely naked and it has a little written in message that says something like "no messages here, go try one of our other services" or something. But then when the spam folder is empty, it says "HOORAY NO SPAM HERE!" so happy there is no spam, but then when i don't have any messages in my inbox, it tries to be encouraging, but that's just how i'm reading it anyway. into it, i mean. ah, i'm sleepy. goodnight.

Shark

I got an email from this kid Marlon about possible Spanish lessons because I put a CL barter ad up. I wanted to trade English lessons for Spanish ones but Marlon asked me if I would be willing to buy him lunch for one hour of practice. Or maybe an Ipod, or help him find a job. I think that that is a perfectly email  someone raised in a Spanish culture, but Joe is all "Oh, hellll no, that kid is not coming in our house". I don't know why he reacts so strongly a lot of the times. Marlon is probably just a normal kid looking for a break. And trust me, I DO NOT always look for the best in people. I think if he gets back to my reply, I am going to set a up a meeting with him, in a public place, of course.


I think I might get back into some type of modeling since I miss doing it, but classy clothes-on pictures this time.

Some people are coming to look at the room we have for rent today. I hope it gets rented, Joe does not like looking for roommates, much less interviewing them.

We got a fish yesterday. A Betta Fish. I named him Shark.

Savage Love Podcast

I am listening to Dan Savage's Savage Love Podcast. It's the first time I have listened to it, I think it's great.

Mia Farrow: Pretty or not?

I was just talking to my ex boyfriend, a friend I haven't seen in two years, and an old friend from West Virginia who splits his time between Japan and WV. I am also watching Purple rose of cairo right at the part where this guy leaves the picture. it's interesting.

My dog is really into licking his balls right now. I don't really know what else to write right now, i'm supposed to be writing a free write and not stopping but I have stopped about five times so far. and now joe is asking me if i am doing my free write. yes, i am. he sure stays on top of me. it's a good quality of his.

yesterday i popped a huge infected hair follicle at the top of my forehead. it was quite enjoyable. even better than popping my blackheads, but I sure do like popping my blackheads. mmmhhhmmm. yes i do.

i think i made i knew moving watching buddy. i like watching movies. i like it a lot. anyway, i have to save this soon otherwise i wont get it in by the deadline. it's already 11:56pm. i have four minutes to go. okay what can i write about in three minutes? i ate some really good chocolate tonight. oh, i'm probably dulling down the freewrite by trying to write this so long. aw. okay should just end it now.

Begging Dog

I was eating a turkey burger from yesterday's dinner and Snacks came up and sat right  next to me and watched me eat it. I ddn't realize this because i onlyuse one eye at a time. joe came in and he said 'hey! get on your chair!' to snacks and snacks obligied. I just ate half a bagel as well, and a smoothie and some yerba matte tea. joe is wearing a shirt that says ADULT WORLD and he is trying to get me out the door so we can start driving to my grandma's house. I told him i was writing my free write of othe day and he backed off. we'll go in a little bit.

downstairs there is a church. they are having sunday service right now. it wouldn't be so painful to listen to if they KNEW HOW TO SING not a one of them is on key.

My little brother's birthday.

my little brother's birthday is today he turns 20. wow. 20. two decades old. i remember when i turned 20... I wasn't nearly as mature as   am now at 23... so much changes between 20 and 24 i think. i'll be 24 in january. 24. wow. i was just talking to joe about getting a tempur pedic mattress. he says he doesn't like them. whatever. we are also watching the movie 'a bronx tale' right now, robert dinero's kid is talking to his crush, this cute black girl. I think robert dinero wrote this movie beca use he loves the chocolate. i love the music they have playing in this scene. "I only have eyes for you" such a great song. this is adorable.

Magic Eraser

I'm counting down the hours, and I'm counting up the days, I try so hard not to show this side of me. I'm listening to a Meiko song right now on Pandora radio, taking a break from cleaning my apartment. I am taking a break from swiffer wet jetting my living room floor, and I already magic erased my bathroom sink, cleaned the tub, windexed the mirror, and swiffered the floor. I told Joe that if he got me the Swiffer wetjet and the mr clean magic eraser I would help him clean up, I think he is pretty psyched that it worked out. Yay for him. My roommate just came in and was all, "are you enjoying the swiffer?" HE IS READING MY MIND. Now he is in the shower. I think my sister has a crush on him.

The moon was in the clouds and it was lovely

I was walking down the street, and I looked up at the moon. Beautiful moon. It was full or almost full. It had clouds all around it, cascading out into the dark sky. I stopped next to a street lamp to take a picture of the moon with my phone, but it didn't come out as beautiful as I had hoped it would.

Got let go from job #2 today. Mutual decision. Universe, I'm sending you a cosmic kitchen order for a new, fun, totally liberating job that I can fit my #1 fun, totally liberating job's schedule in to.

My sister came for a visit yesterday, but I was working, sad I didn't get to hang out with her as much as I wanted to, but she is coming back next wednesday. Exhausted, body aches.