I'm sitting at my computer and listening to dance music, oxymoron?
Hello internet, my first submitted story got rejected, I spent some time crying over it.
I wrote some sweet new jokes.
Getting a haircut today, will post results.
Apologies for the short post, I have been so le tired lately. Don't know what's going on with me.
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Monday, July 18, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
attempting poetry
inside my mind sits
an electric web of fine
connectivity
trouble and tomfoolery
sisters in debauchery
rulers who run the night
wayward teenagers who search for the fight
frontal lobes still forming
at least they're not boring
an electric web of fine
connectivity
trouble and tomfoolery
sisters in debauchery
rulers who run the night
wayward teenagers who search for the fight
frontal lobes still forming
at least they're not boring
attempting poetry
inside my mind sits
an electric web of fine
connectivity
trouble and tomfoolery
sisters in debauchery
rulers who run the night
wayward teenagers who search for the fight
frontal lobes still forming
at least they're not boring
an electric web of fine
connectivity
trouble and tomfoolery
sisters in debauchery
rulers who run the night
wayward teenagers who search for the fight
frontal lobes still forming
at least they're not boring
Saturday, July 9, 2011
reading james joyce is exhausting
"i think you're great, i think you're grand and i don't mind if you hold my hand" Sarah Vaughan - Don't look at me that way
last night, one of my friends asked me: "so, you getting any tonight?"
me: "no, definitely not getting any tonight"
friend: "aw, that's too bad"
me: "I'll just snuggle my teddy bear"
friend: :(
as you know people, i am currently single, and my teddy bear is getting a lot of snuggles. and i've been thinking lately, as i often do, about myself and they way i think (naturally).
for instance, i used to be totally cool with casual interludes. in fact, i preferred them, sought them out. didn't even matter if said partner in interlude had a girlfriend or a wife. it didn't even matter if i had a boyfriend or a husband. (i've never been married)
then, i realized i didn't want to be responsible for the emotional breakdown of said partner in interlude's current life partner, or the emotional breakdown of my current life partner so i stopped seeking out attached men, and only - to my knowledge - sought out fellow singletons.
this is because i was severely emotionally unavailable, but i told myself it was because i liked mystery.
and then, i don't know what happened. i'll have to do more pondering on this, but i stopped enjoying the mystery.
i became more emotionally available, and i listened to myself and now i'm in a spot where casual interludes don't appeal to me. it's strange though because i used to thrive on them. i actually did make sunday plans with a fellow interluder, but i cancelled it, i just can't go through with it.
as i made it clear at the beginning of this entry, i am single. even though i've lost interest in casually interluding, i also still think relationships are exhausting, much like reading james joyce is exhausting. so i'm confusing everyone, culminating in me experiencing men i'm interested in telling me they "just want to be friends" after we have awkward sex.
seems fitting, doesn't it?
and so it goes...
last night, one of my friends asked me: "so, you getting any tonight?"
me: "no, definitely not getting any tonight"
friend: "aw, that's too bad"
me: "I'll just snuggle my teddy bear"
friend: :(
as you know people, i am currently single, and my teddy bear is getting a lot of snuggles. and i've been thinking lately, as i often do, about myself and they way i think (naturally).
for instance, i used to be totally cool with casual interludes. in fact, i preferred them, sought them out. didn't even matter if said partner in interlude had a girlfriend or a wife. it didn't even matter if i had a boyfriend or a husband. (i've never been married)
then, i realized i didn't want to be responsible for the emotional breakdown of said partner in interlude's current life partner, or the emotional breakdown of my current life partner so i stopped seeking out attached men, and only - to my knowledge - sought out fellow singletons.
this is because i was severely emotionally unavailable, but i told myself it was because i liked mystery.
and then, i don't know what happened. i'll have to do more pondering on this, but i stopped enjoying the mystery.
i became more emotionally available, and i listened to myself and now i'm in a spot where casual interludes don't appeal to me. it's strange though because i used to thrive on them. i actually did make sunday plans with a fellow interluder, but i cancelled it, i just can't go through with it.
as i made it clear at the beginning of this entry, i am single. even though i've lost interest in casually interluding, i also still think relationships are exhausting, much like reading james joyce is exhausting. so i'm confusing everyone, culminating in me experiencing men i'm interested in telling me they "just want to be friends" after we have awkward sex.
seems fitting, doesn't it?
and so it goes...
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Wednesday, July 6, 2011
you tell me what you saw, and i'll tell you what you missed.
be warned this is going to be a rant-y post.
i don't understand why people want to be like other people. i'll always value uniqueness and forward thinking.
be yourself, god dammit. everyone else is taken.
and why spend time hating yourself? it's no use. you're the only you, you've got, so why put yourself down?
i'm sick of people telling me i need something to fall back on.
fuck that.
only live this life once, why would i want to spend it in contemplation of blowing my brains out at a job i hate?
do what YOU want to do, not what others expect of you.
if you have low self esteem DON'T TALK TO ME, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO YOU, EXCEPT SHUT THE FUCK UP.
/end rant.
i don't understand why people want to be like other people. i'll always value uniqueness and forward thinking.
be yourself, god dammit. everyone else is taken.
and why spend time hating yourself? it's no use. you're the only you, you've got, so why put yourself down?
i'm sick of people telling me i need something to fall back on.
fuck that.
only live this life once, why would i want to spend it in contemplation of blowing my brains out at a job i hate?
do what YOU want to do, not what others expect of you.
if you have low self esteem DON'T TALK TO ME, I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY TO YOU, EXCEPT SHUT THE FUCK UP.
/end rant.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
blame it on the alcohol?
some of you, dear readers, my know, but probably none of you do, that i stopped drinking for a while. specifically march 2010 until june 2011, so a little over a year.
there are reasons (obviously) for this period of sobriety and they are as follows:
1. medication
2. cerebral palsy
3 getting very drunk and puking in a hot guys bed
4. getting very drunk before noon, taking a cab ride home that i don't have a memory of, arriving home, sitting on my bed, getting the "spins" and passing out
elaboration:
1. medication: i take it, and i just recently switched them, and this new one doesn't say in big bold letters DO NOT CONSUME ALCOHOL UNLESS YOU WANT TO CREATE DEFORMED OFFSPRING/DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH.
okay, so it only says the "do not consume alcohol" bit. but still, buzz kill. ( haha, double entendre)
2. cerebral palsy: I have it. and sometimes (all the time) i don't have the best coordination, and remember in school when the teachers all invited this big burly police officer over to the school auditorium for a presentation in which he called for a few volunteers to come up on stage and put on "drunk goggles" to see how well they could do simple tasks, ie stacking, sorting, etc?
well, i put those goggles on and i was all, I SEE LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME!
so yeah, it's kinda like that. so to counter this, i now drink one alcoholic beverage and then some water, repeat.
3. throwing up, hot guys bed: EMBARRASSING!
4. spins: not a fun time, rooms are not supposed to go in a circle, they are supposed to be stationary.
in closing, grab me a beer, will you?
there are reasons (obviously) for this period of sobriety and they are as follows:
1. medication
2. cerebral palsy
3 getting very drunk and puking in a hot guys bed
4. getting very drunk before noon, taking a cab ride home that i don't have a memory of, arriving home, sitting on my bed, getting the "spins" and passing out
elaboration:
1. medication: i take it, and i just recently switched them, and this new one doesn't say in big bold letters DO NOT CONSUME ALCOHOL UNLESS YOU WANT TO CREATE DEFORMED OFFSPRING/DIE A HORRIBLE DEATH.
okay, so it only says the "do not consume alcohol" bit. but still, buzz kill. ( haha, double entendre)
2. cerebral palsy: I have it. and sometimes (all the time) i don't have the best coordination, and remember in school when the teachers all invited this big burly police officer over to the school auditorium for a presentation in which he called for a few volunteers to come up on stage and put on "drunk goggles" to see how well they could do simple tasks, ie stacking, sorting, etc?
well, i put those goggles on and i was all, I SEE LIKE THIS ALL THE TIME!
so yeah, it's kinda like that. so to counter this, i now drink one alcoholic beverage and then some water, repeat.
3. throwing up, hot guys bed: EMBARRASSING!
4. spins: not a fun time, rooms are not supposed to go in a circle, they are supposed to be stationary.
in closing, grab me a beer, will you?
Monday, July 4, 2011
wherein many things happened that i don't remember
happy independence/steal the homeland from the natives day. actually stealing the homeland was done a long while before that, back when we were still colonies, but it became "official" on today. actually not on today, july 2nd was when they signed the papers, so yeah. thank you howard zinn for setting me straight on that, no thank you public school system!
been doing a lot of socializing lately. i like it, the socializing. redundant much?
went to my grandfathers 93rd birthday today. saw my cousins two week old baby and didn't touch him. i'm baby phobic, and i would probably break him. his name is 'hunter' so naturally i'm expecting him to be able to hunt, kill, prepare and cook things by the time he's five. it's only a realistic expectation.
also went kayaking today, wherein i was reminded just how out of shape i am. further motivation to start the 'couch to 5k'. it's on my to do list.
also, i'm pretty sure i hate my sister and never want to speak to her again. details will bore you and will bring me down, just know she's a miserable cunt and i can't wait for her to leave for china for a year.
gonna go film a horror movie tomorrow wherein i will get to get eaten by ants and covered in fake blood. my kind of day.
doing laundry, too. being productive.
have been on a couple dates recently wherein my date did not contact me afterwards, whatever inflated ego i had going into these dates has now been diminished back down to its regular size.
like how many times i used wherein in this post?
yes, you did.
xo
...
no x, just o
...
okay, no o either.
awkward ending.
been doing a lot of socializing lately. i like it, the socializing. redundant much?
went to my grandfathers 93rd birthday today. saw my cousins two week old baby and didn't touch him. i'm baby phobic, and i would probably break him. his name is 'hunter' so naturally i'm expecting him to be able to hunt, kill, prepare and cook things by the time he's five. it's only a realistic expectation.
also went kayaking today, wherein i was reminded just how out of shape i am. further motivation to start the 'couch to 5k'. it's on my to do list.
also, i'm pretty sure i hate my sister and never want to speak to her again. details will bore you and will bring me down, just know she's a miserable cunt and i can't wait for her to leave for china for a year.
gonna go film a horror movie tomorrow wherein i will get to get eaten by ants and covered in fake blood. my kind of day.
doing laundry, too. being productive.
have been on a couple dates recently wherein my date did not contact me afterwards, whatever inflated ego i had going into these dates has now been diminished back down to its regular size.
like how many times i used wherein in this post?
yes, you did.
xo
...
no x, just o
...
okay, no o either.
awkward ending.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)