I love pandora radio! I have a station entitled "Wolfgang Amadaeus Mozart" that I am listening to right now. I actually do feel smarter because of this, but I am not sure if that is because it has been a long standing collective belief that Mozart makes you smarter, or if it is actually true, or if either one of those sentiments even matter.
I also found out, while watching The Tyra Banks show the other day, that a woman's scent is least attractive to a man when she is on her period and most attractive when she is ovulating. I know, some of you are going to stop reading this blog because I said I watched the Tyra Banks Show.
OH WELL, I NEVER LIKED YOU ANYWAY!!
I am currently lying on my back in my bed listening to my guinea pig guzzle water like it's his job. I swear. He drinks so much water. I have to fill his 4 oz water bottle every day. 4 ounces is a lot too, when you are dealing with rodents. Maybe I should stop feeding him so many carrots?
It is snowing outside right now. I wish it were snowing a tad bit harder, then there would be a good chance that I would actually go outside and try to entice some of the neighborhood kids into a snowball fight, and then I would lose miserably.
The other day, I was walking around the east village and I was at a crosswalk, and diligent New Yorker that I am, I craned my neck out in both directions to make sure that I would not get hit by any oncoming traffic. There was a school kid also at the crosswalk, but he was perched on top of a mailbox, suggestively humping it, presumably to get rid of some of his teenage hormones and release them on said mailbox.
When I craned my neck in his direction, he immediately became defensive and asked me "WHAT YOU LOOKIN' AT?! WHAT YOU LOOKIN' AT, HUH?"
I looked right at him and calmly said "Well, I certainly had the misfortune of looking at your ugly face just then"
And I walked away, amongst a gaggle of "ooooooohs" from his fellow classmates, and about a half a block later, I felt kind of bad, and wondered if his encounter with a non-meek white woman would scar the young latin boy, but it was not for me to know, and I continued on my stroll.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
Today you are you, that is truer than true. There is no one alive who is youer than you.
That is my new favorite quote. It's by Dr. Suess. Go out there and be you. Let your light shine, and don't let anyone or anything stand in your way!
Sunday, January 24, 2010
My sister, my hero.
I have to share with you guys what my sister wrote in her blog yesterday...
FRIDAY, JANUARY 22, 2010
Ke Tichere.
I started teaching this week. It is absolutely the most rewarding experience. These children are the most polite and willing to learn children I have ever met. They sit quietly two to a chair. When you enter the room they stand and greet you with "How are you madam?". They hang on my every word which i say in the slowest, clearest way possible. They scramble to answer my questions. They oooh and aahh over my diagrams and giggle uncontrollably at activities and almost die with excitement when we play board races or other games.
This is because the education in this country is horrible. The teachers hardly ever teach the students. Instead the students sit in the bare classrooms alone with nothing to do. The teachers here only lecture. No one has any textbooks. They teach science without any diagrams, any microscopes, even any pictures. They teach literature without any books. When a student speaks in class without permission, or is caught speaking their native language, or they answer the question wrong they are whipped on the head, hands, or back of the legs with a stick. They are whipped so hard they scream. Sometimes they are brought into the office and whipped in front of my desk. The other teachers demand to know why i do not whip them. "Where is your stick" they say. When i told the students I do not whip and will never whip. They asked me if i could stop the other teachers from whipping them. I almost cried. I told them i wish i could.
Right now i teach my english, literature, biology, and geography. I also teach life skills from my peace corps life skills manual when the other teachers fail to show up. Today I taught for 6 hours straight. I told this to some other volunteers and they told me to not overdo it. but i dont even notice the time. i only notice when it is up and i do not have time to say everything i want to say to them.
but i love teaching. i love it. and i also have a new best friend. his name is mpho and he has hundreds of american sitcoms to watch at his house. and a refrigerator. it is bliss.
This is because the education in this country is horrible. The teachers hardly ever teach the students. Instead the students sit in the bare classrooms alone with nothing to do. The teachers here only lecture. No one has any textbooks. They teach science without any diagrams, any microscopes, even any pictures. They teach literature without any books. When a student speaks in class without permission, or is caught speaking their native language, or they answer the question wrong they are whipped on the head, hands, or back of the legs with a stick. They are whipped so hard they scream. Sometimes they are brought into the office and whipped in front of my desk. The other teachers demand to know why i do not whip them. "Where is your stick" they say. When i told the students I do not whip and will never whip. They asked me if i could stop the other teachers from whipping them. I almost cried. I told them i wish i could.
Right now i teach my english, literature, biology, and geography. I also teach life skills from my peace corps life skills manual when the other teachers fail to show up. Today I taught for 6 hours straight. I told this to some other volunteers and they told me to not overdo it. but i dont even notice the time. i only notice when it is up and i do not have time to say everything i want to say to them.
but i love teaching. i love it. and i also have a new best friend. his name is mpho and he has hundreds of american sitcoms to watch at his house. and a refrigerator. it is bliss.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
On being sloth like
Yesterday and today I have done nothing by lay around. I am very proud of myself for doing this, because I want to get rid of this damn head cold once and for all. I am so tired of having a frog voice. The mistake I made on Thursday was thinking I felt better then throwing myself into work, and then going out after work. Wow. I really should not have done that.
So.
I spent almost the entire day in my bed yesterday and it was really blissful. I got up a couple times to order brunch and to write in this blog. Yes. You read that correctly, I ordered brunch.
And then I snuggled myself up in my covers and read books and did some pondering. I don't know if I can put the pondering I did into words yet, but maybe I will in later entries.
I have decided I am looking forward to this Rusk Institute intake on Tuesday. I have never participated in a 15 day evaluation, and I think that through this process, I will yet again learn a lot about myself. And I also think that I will not have to sleep there as I previously feared. Because I don't think anyone would go through with the evaluation if they had to sleep there for 15 days. I think this evaluation is just to make sure that I can handle dealing with people who have substance abuse problems.
Fingers crossed that I do well. I am throwing caution to the wind.
I am super psyched that it has been so sunny and warm in the city lately. Yes, I consider 40s in the city to be warm. Maybe I will go outside later and get some food from the store. My roommates went to C-town last night with their ferret and they got me some potato and cheddar pirogues which I promptly prepared and devoured because I love pirogues.
So.
I spent almost the entire day in my bed yesterday and it was really blissful. I got up a couple times to order brunch and to write in this blog. Yes. You read that correctly, I ordered brunch.
And then I snuggled myself up in my covers and read books and did some pondering. I don't know if I can put the pondering I did into words yet, but maybe I will in later entries.
I have decided I am looking forward to this Rusk Institute intake on Tuesday. I have never participated in a 15 day evaluation, and I think that through this process, I will yet again learn a lot about myself. And I also think that I will not have to sleep there as I previously feared. Because I don't think anyone would go through with the evaluation if they had to sleep there for 15 days. I think this evaluation is just to make sure that I can handle dealing with people who have substance abuse problems.
Fingers crossed that I do well. I am throwing caution to the wind.
I am super psyched that it has been so sunny and warm in the city lately. Yes, I consider 40s in the city to be warm. Maybe I will go outside later and get some food from the store. My roommates went to C-town last night with their ferret and they got me some potato and cheddar pirogues which I promptly prepared and devoured because I love pirogues.
Friday, January 22, 2010
Last night in the city
Last night, I went out. I met some interesting people and drank some beer. While I was minding my own business, this twenty five year old turkish man starts talking to me. I instantly deduced that he was high on some kind of drug, because he was way too talkative, his pupils were not responding to the changes in light and he seemed to have a questionable relationship with reality. I engage him in conversation and he tells me that he takes martial arts classes and that he goes to school. Some other Turkish people were in the bar, so he started talking to them in Turkish. He tried to engage almost everyone in some form of conversation and by that point I had become a tad bit concerned for his safety, even though he was little more than a stranger to me.
I finally asked him what he was on and he said it was a drug like MDMA (ecstasy) but mellower. Some new wave drug of choice going around. I have never been on ecstasy, nor do I ever want to try, but I will say it was kind of fun to live vicariously through this man for a couple of hours. I asked him when he took the hit and he said it was around nine thirty pm, just after he got out of martial arts class. It was around eleven when I started talking to him, so he must have been at the peak of his high.
Later that night, I offered to escort him to the train because I didn't want anything to happen to him. On the way to the train, he picked up a long, hollow tube discarded from a construction site and started banging it on metal things and also on the sidewalk, I just kept walking and asked him to get rid of it, and he said he needed it for martial arts class.
We continued to walk and we ended up about a block away from the train when he noticed a tall, young hispanic man looking at me, that I did not notice.
"Look, see that guy knows you are beautiful, did you see his eyes light up when he looked at you?"
"Um, let's keep walking"
Hispanic guy, smiling "No, disrespect to you man..."
We get to the train and the kid still has his stick. I decided to let it go. We got to the platform and waited and waited and waited for the train. It took at least forty minutes for the train to arrive and in that time of course he tried to engage a lot of people in conversation of course, while I hastily tried to keep us out of trouble.
There were four big black guys standing next to us having a loud conversation and one of them said "No" loudly to the other and the Turkish guy turns around and says "yes, yes" equally as loudly.
This is the conversation I had in my head when that happened:
"Oh, my God, this kid is going to get me killed. I wonder if I will I will go to heaven and get to spend eternity with the virgins because the last thing on Earth I did was a good deed. Oh, wait. I'm not Muslim, nor am I a terrorist willing to sacrifice myself for 72 virgins - and what if that guy on the Detroit plane had succeeded? Those would be some disappointed virgins - I really don't want to die tonight, but there are some shady people on this platform and this kid is smaller than me and I can't take them all out. I wonder who will miss me..."
Thankfully the guys, nor anyone else, didn't beat us to death and the train finally came. We got in the last car.
"Let's walk to the front of this car"
"Okay"
Big Black Guy "Yo, man. Move out of the way so these two can sit down"
I sat down.
"I don't like the last car"
"Just sit down"
He sits.
"Seriously, I don't like the last car, I'm going to walk to that car. If you need me, I will be in the car ahead"
"Okay, nice to meet you man, I'll be here"
With that, he got up and walked to the adjacent car.
I finally asked him what he was on and he said it was a drug like MDMA (ecstasy) but mellower. Some new wave drug of choice going around. I have never been on ecstasy, nor do I ever want to try, but I will say it was kind of fun to live vicariously through this man for a couple of hours. I asked him when he took the hit and he said it was around nine thirty pm, just after he got out of martial arts class. It was around eleven when I started talking to him, so he must have been at the peak of his high.
Later that night, I offered to escort him to the train because I didn't want anything to happen to him. On the way to the train, he picked up a long, hollow tube discarded from a construction site and started banging it on metal things and also on the sidewalk, I just kept walking and asked him to get rid of it, and he said he needed it for martial arts class.
We continued to walk and we ended up about a block away from the train when he noticed a tall, young hispanic man looking at me, that I did not notice.
"Look, see that guy knows you are beautiful, did you see his eyes light up when he looked at you?"
"Um, let's keep walking"
Hispanic guy, smiling "No, disrespect to you man..."
We get to the train and the kid still has his stick. I decided to let it go. We got to the platform and waited and waited and waited for the train. It took at least forty minutes for the train to arrive and in that time of course he tried to engage a lot of people in conversation of course, while I hastily tried to keep us out of trouble.
There were four big black guys standing next to us having a loud conversation and one of them said "No" loudly to the other and the Turkish guy turns around and says "yes, yes" equally as loudly.
This is the conversation I had in my head when that happened:
"Oh, my God, this kid is going to get me killed. I wonder if I will I will go to heaven and get to spend eternity with the virgins because the last thing on Earth I did was a good deed. Oh, wait. I'm not Muslim, nor am I a terrorist willing to sacrifice myself for 72 virgins - and what if that guy on the Detroit plane had succeeded? Those would be some disappointed virgins - I really don't want to die tonight, but there are some shady people on this platform and this kid is smaller than me and I can't take them all out. I wonder who will miss me..."
Thankfully the guys, nor anyone else, didn't beat us to death and the train finally came. We got in the last car.
"Let's walk to the front of this car"
"Okay"
Big Black Guy "Yo, man. Move out of the way so these two can sit down"
I sat down.
"I don't like the last car"
"Just sit down"
He sits.
"Seriously, I don't like the last car, I'm going to walk to that car. If you need me, I will be in the car ahead"
"Okay, nice to meet you man, I'll be here"
With that, he got up and walked to the adjacent car.
Thursday, January 21, 2010
The Evaluation
Yesterday, I wrote that I got a phone call from a woman who said that I was referred to her by my VESID counselor. I called her up, and she told me that I would now have to take part in a 15 day evaluation at the Rusk Institute.
Seriously?
15 days?
Why does it need to take that long for a psych evaluation?
I have to go in on Tuesday for the intake appointment. And, since I already have a shrink, I'm not looking forward to telling my life's story AGAIN. Sigh. But, I gotta do what I gotta do in order to get this CASAC training for free. I could pay for it if I wanted to, but that seems really counterproductive at this point, since I am already knee deep in dealing with VESID. Best to just finish jumping through the hoops like a good little system rat. I have done it before, and I will do it again. Besides, the end is near, I can just feel it!
Okay, I just spend about two minutes of entry writing time trying to justify the evaluation to myself and I am still crying inside.
NOOOOOOOOO
WHY ME?
In other news, I am going to start my trial period at a new job on Monday. How exciting!!! I'll be in charge of making reservations for events. I'm excited to work with the lady who hired me, because she inspires me to put on events. She's a very talented lady. And, I will get to sit next to her in the office, how cool is that?
I'm going to try to go get a couple more hours of shut eye.
Seriously?
15 days?
Why does it need to take that long for a psych evaluation?
I have to go in on Tuesday for the intake appointment. And, since I already have a shrink, I'm not looking forward to telling my life's story AGAIN. Sigh. But, I gotta do what I gotta do in order to get this CASAC training for free. I could pay for it if I wanted to, but that seems really counterproductive at this point, since I am already knee deep in dealing with VESID. Best to just finish jumping through the hoops like a good little system rat. I have done it before, and I will do it again. Besides, the end is near, I can just feel it!
Okay, I just spend about two minutes of entry writing time trying to justify the evaluation to myself and I am still crying inside.
NOOOOOOOOO
WHY ME?
In other news, I am going to start my trial period at a new job on Monday. How exciting!!! I'll be in charge of making reservations for events. I'm excited to work with the lady who hired me, because she inspires me to put on events. She's a very talented lady. And, I will get to sit next to her in the office, how cool is that?
I'm going to try to go get a couple more hours of shut eye.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010
is it Spring yet?
I woke up at 8:30 this morning for no apparent reason. Given that I became conscious about two hours before I intended to wake up this morning, I decided to make a trip to the laundromat.
I HATE DOING LAUNDRY.
Today, I discovered that it actually cost me more to do my own laundry than it did to drop it off and have it done for me like I did last time. At least I got to fold the clothing. I like folding laundry, it's all zen like.
I have an interview today at two pm for a job I was being considered for in December, but the position was filled by someone else. And now it's open again, and the interviewer called me. Sounds promising, no? Fingers crossed.
I feel like doing some Spring Cleaning in my brain. I am sure there are some cobwebs up there that I could do to get rid of. Like the one cobweb I have that repeatedly has me fall for boys that are no good for me. Am I beating a dead horse, yet? Sorry.
I also got a call from this woman who is from the NYU medical center, she says I was referred to her by my VESID case manager and I am assuming that this has to do with the last evaluation I have to do before I can start my CASAC training. Fun times, I am glad things are moving forward with that. I am super excited to take the class entitled "The pharmacology of Crack Cocaine."
Well, I must be off to go get gussied up for my interview now.
I HATE DOING LAUNDRY.
Today, I discovered that it actually cost me more to do my own laundry than it did to drop it off and have it done for me like I did last time. At least I got to fold the clothing. I like folding laundry, it's all zen like.
I have an interview today at two pm for a job I was being considered for in December, but the position was filled by someone else. And now it's open again, and the interviewer called me. Sounds promising, no? Fingers crossed.
I feel like doing some Spring Cleaning in my brain. I am sure there are some cobwebs up there that I could do to get rid of. Like the one cobweb I have that repeatedly has me fall for boys that are no good for me. Am I beating a dead horse, yet? Sorry.
I also got a call from this woman who is from the NYU medical center, she says I was referred to her by my VESID case manager and I am assuming that this has to do with the last evaluation I have to do before I can start my CASAC training. Fun times, I am glad things are moving forward with that. I am super excited to take the class entitled "The pharmacology of Crack Cocaine."
Well, I must be off to go get gussied up for my interview now.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010
The Lamp
I was hanging out with my good friend Dan yesterday, he messaged me on gchat and said happy birthday and asked what I was up to. I wasn't doing anything so I invited him over to my place in Harlem, but then he called me and told me he could not make it because he had to wait for a delivery, so I went out to his place in Jersey.
We were catching up and I asked him about a story that he had told me in a nutshell on gchat before I left.
Dan was dating this girl who he had developed strong feelings for. He asked her to move in with him and she agreed and so he spent six weeks looking for a place that they could share. He found an awesome place in Jersey, and her parents even really liked it. The girl even signed move in papers with him.
Last Thursday, he called her up and asked when they were going to get a moving truck up to her place. She hesitates and says "Um" which is never a good answer when you are planning on moving in with someone that you say you are in love with. Dan pressed her for more details and she says that she doesn't like New Jersey, then he asked her what her other motivations were and she said that she has not been being honest with him, and last weekend she was not hanging out with her friends, she was hanging out with another man.
Dan deduces with his very smart and sharp witted brain that this girl has been lying to him bold face for about a month and he promptly exiles her to ex girlfriend ville.
He calls her later that night and asks her to come by his place the next day and pick up her belongings, which he gathered together and placed by the door. She does this and leaves her keys, but in the spare room, she leaves a $45 dollar lamp from Home Depot.
Seriously?
A Lamp?
That's not a very good consolation prize for being cheated on, lied to and screwed over about 5k for rent for the year.
I felt really bad for Dan and I told him that he did not deserve such childish behavior. Hanging out with him also made me feel better about my recent childish behavior that I displayed to my ex. Ah, that's what friends are for.
We were catching up and I asked him about a story that he had told me in a nutshell on gchat before I left.
Dan was dating this girl who he had developed strong feelings for. He asked her to move in with him and she agreed and so he spent six weeks looking for a place that they could share. He found an awesome place in Jersey, and her parents even really liked it. The girl even signed move in papers with him.
Last Thursday, he called her up and asked when they were going to get a moving truck up to her place. She hesitates and says "Um" which is never a good answer when you are planning on moving in with someone that you say you are in love with. Dan pressed her for more details and she says that she doesn't like New Jersey, then he asked her what her other motivations were and she said that she has not been being honest with him, and last weekend she was not hanging out with her friends, she was hanging out with another man.
Dan deduces with his very smart and sharp witted brain that this girl has been lying to him bold face for about a month and he promptly exiles her to ex girlfriend ville.
He calls her later that night and asks her to come by his place the next day and pick up her belongings, which he gathered together and placed by the door. She does this and leaves her keys, but in the spare room, she leaves a $45 dollar lamp from Home Depot.
Seriously?
A Lamp?
That's not a very good consolation prize for being cheated on, lied to and screwed over about 5k for rent for the year.
I felt really bad for Dan and I told him that he did not deserve such childish behavior. Hanging out with him also made me feel better about my recent childish behavior that I displayed to my ex. Ah, that's what friends are for.
Monday, January 18, 2010
at the time
that i am writing this exact sentence it is exactly six minutes after the time I came into the world today in 1986.
Happy Birthday to Me
Happy Birthday to Me
Sunday, January 17, 2010
my birthday and other things.
First, a picture of me doing what I do best. (Acting like a dork)
This is me at the deli that is next to my job in Union Square. I think I got Chicken pita that day. There is a mirror there that I always preen myself in while I am waiting for my food. I decided to take a picture.
I am turning 24 for tomorrow. I'm kind of brooding about it. The last three birthdays and maybe more I was in a relationship so I could share it with that person in my life at the time. This time I am single. And I have to say, I'm not at all happy about it.
I am starting to think I might not like to be alone. This is not a bad thing, but it certainly can make me sad for no other reason than I have to be by myself. I just love to talk to the person I am with. If we are not conversationally connected, it won't last.
Which brings me to the last guy I dated briefly. What a dickhead. I shouldn't even write about him, but that's what I do, I write about things.
I'm sure you all know that I have bipolar disorder. I know I have mentioned it in this blog before. I have not had an "episode" since late 0'5 early 06 so that's FOUR YEARS AGO. Jesus H. Christ.
Anyway, I told this guy, like day three of us talking to each other that I have bipolar disorder and he said he didn't care. He came over and slept in my bed and took me out to nice dinners and then like a month later he breaks it off because I am crazy. WHAT THE FUCK?!
I told him day three, couldn't he have just been like, "oh not for me" then?
No.
I feel used.
Sigh.
I need some cheering up!
I am turning 24 for tomorrow. I'm kind of brooding about it. The last three birthdays and maybe more I was in a relationship so I could share it with that person in my life at the time. This time I am single. And I have to say, I'm not at all happy about it.
I am starting to think I might not like to be alone. This is not a bad thing, but it certainly can make me sad for no other reason than I have to be by myself. I just love to talk to the person I am with. If we are not conversationally connected, it won't last.
Which brings me to the last guy I dated briefly. What a dickhead. I shouldn't even write about him, but that's what I do, I write about things.
I'm sure you all know that I have bipolar disorder. I know I have mentioned it in this blog before. I have not had an "episode" since late 0'5 early 06 so that's FOUR YEARS AGO. Jesus H. Christ.
Anyway, I told this guy, like day three of us talking to each other that I have bipolar disorder and he said he didn't care. He came over and slept in my bed and took me out to nice dinners and then like a month later he breaks it off because I am crazy. WHAT THE FUCK?!
I told him day three, couldn't he have just been like, "oh not for me" then?
No.
I feel used.
Sigh.
I need some cheering up!
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Wet Sex Stain
Some clever individual and fellow MTA subway rider took the liberty of rearranging the "wet paint" sign at the Essex Street station on the lower east side today.
Friday, January 15, 2010
this monitor is ginormous
i am at a friends apartment right now, but I will not reveal his name or location because he is a very private chap. We are watching the Jersey Shore T.V. show right now. I love this show, absolutely love it. I don't care if you hate me for it. I love this show. I love Snooki. We are watching this episode where Pauly D has a stalker. It is so AWESOME!!
I can't write anymore right now. I am so enthralled.
I can't write anymore right now. I am so enthralled.
Thursday, January 14, 2010
The Crazy things I hear on the F train
I don't usually ride the "F" train anymore, though I used to ride it daily when I lived in Brooklyn. It just so happens that I went into Brooklyn the other day to visit my dog, and I had to take the F to transfer to the A to get home.
I stepped into the train and sat down. Directly across from me were two other women and to the their left against the train wall, there were two other women. Next to those women there was an older man, all bundled up and sitting by himself. He had a black beanie hat on, a black vest over a hoodie and a coat, boots and a cane. He seemed harmless enough and I was enjoying my ride, relaxing and looking at all the new advertisements, when out of nowhere he starts to yell:
"Man is in charge of woman, and any woman who tries to tell man what to do, she has a mental illness and man should kick her in the ass"
He repeated this sentiment three times and then added that in the "olden days" man could beat women with canes, which I do not think was too far from the truth.
During his sharing, all the women surrounding him promptly got up and moved to the next car. He was left all by his lonesome, surrounded by an empty sea of orange and yellow subway seats. I stayed where I was, just staring at the man, and wondered if he noticed lately that his skin color was black and not two hundred and fifty years ago, he and his kin were made to work the cotton fields, and then forced to abide by the heinous laws of Jim Crow and then they were granted the right to vote only if they counted as three-fifths of a person.
On another note, the word "slave" comes from the latin word "slavic" which means "white" you can discuss this with me if you wish, but I think it's an interesting point to bring up whenever my young black comrades complain about slavery, which coincidentally hasn't been happening very often lately since Obama took the oath of office.
Coincidence?
I think not. He told them to pull up their pants, and I think they did.
I stepped into the train and sat down. Directly across from me were two other women and to the their left against the train wall, there were two other women. Next to those women there was an older man, all bundled up and sitting by himself. He had a black beanie hat on, a black vest over a hoodie and a coat, boots and a cane. He seemed harmless enough and I was enjoying my ride, relaxing and looking at all the new advertisements, when out of nowhere he starts to yell:
"Man is in charge of woman, and any woman who tries to tell man what to do, she has a mental illness and man should kick her in the ass"
He repeated this sentiment three times and then added that in the "olden days" man could beat women with canes, which I do not think was too far from the truth.
During his sharing, all the women surrounding him promptly got up and moved to the next car. He was left all by his lonesome, surrounded by an empty sea of orange and yellow subway seats. I stayed where I was, just staring at the man, and wondered if he noticed lately that his skin color was black and not two hundred and fifty years ago, he and his kin were made to work the cotton fields, and then forced to abide by the heinous laws of Jim Crow and then they were granted the right to vote only if they counted as three-fifths of a person.
On another note, the word "slave" comes from the latin word "slavic" which means "white" you can discuss this with me if you wish, but I think it's an interesting point to bring up whenever my young black comrades complain about slavery, which coincidentally hasn't been happening very often lately since Obama took the oath of office.
Coincidence?
I think not. He told them to pull up their pants, and I think they did.
Monday, January 11, 2010
Chicago, Chicago, Chicago
Tonight is my last night in Chicago. I have really enjoyed my visit to the windy city in January. I did not think this was possible. It was really fridgid yesterday and the night before last the temperature got down to -2 and wind chill was -18. Honestly.
I got to see my grandparents, my Aunt Olivia and my Aunt Jacquelyn. Tomorrow I will see Uncle Marty at breakfast.
I also got to see my friend Tamara, a girl I went to high school with. I would say it's been since then since I have seen her. She looks very good, and she now lives in Chicago with her boyfriend who happens to be the brother of her ex. Sorry Tamara, I just have to share that. It's too funny not to.
Tamara and I had a great time chatting at starbucks about our lives and other things. She sent me a very nice text thanking me for coming to see her.
I spent the night last night with my Aunt Jacquelyn. She is my dad's youngest sister. They have different mothers but that does not make a difference to me.
We went on an adventure to pick up a new addition to her cat family last night. Her friend in Indiana rescued a stray cat, but she is alergic to cats so she could not keep her, and she asked aunt j if she would take her and somehow we had to go pick the cat up that night.
It was a fun trip, the cat slept in my lap on the way home, his name is Murphy. I took pictures of all of her cats (she has five) and I am going to post them on FB when I get a chance.
It is super hot in my grandparents apartment right now and I need to take a shower.
I have more to write but I need to take care of this shower situation.
I got to see my grandparents, my Aunt Olivia and my Aunt Jacquelyn. Tomorrow I will see Uncle Marty at breakfast.
I also got to see my friend Tamara, a girl I went to high school with. I would say it's been since then since I have seen her. She looks very good, and she now lives in Chicago with her boyfriend who happens to be the brother of her ex. Sorry Tamara, I just have to share that. It's too funny not to.
Tamara and I had a great time chatting at starbucks about our lives and other things. She sent me a very nice text thanking me for coming to see her.
I spent the night last night with my Aunt Jacquelyn. She is my dad's youngest sister. They have different mothers but that does not make a difference to me.
We went on an adventure to pick up a new addition to her cat family last night. Her friend in Indiana rescued a stray cat, but she is alergic to cats so she could not keep her, and she asked aunt j if she would take her and somehow we had to go pick the cat up that night.
It was a fun trip, the cat slept in my lap on the way home, his name is Murphy. I took pictures of all of her cats (she has five) and I am going to post them on FB when I get a chance.
It is super hot in my grandparents apartment right now and I need to take a shower.
I have more to write but I need to take care of this shower situation.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Chicago bound
I am currently at an internet cafe in the Port of Authority waiting to board a ten o'clock bus to my moms house in Easton, Pennsylvania.
I will get in around noon and we plan to leave at one o'clock and head halfway to Columbus, Ohio to meet my dad.
From the meeting point, my dad, my brother and I will drive to Columbus, Ohio where I will be put up in a hotel and forgotten about until the morning.
As I was reading that, I realized that my friend Sarah lives in Columbus...
I just called her and I am going to stay at her place tonight! Yay!
Okay, just a quick update, I will update again when I am in Chicago. :-)
Time to go stand in line for the bus!
I will get in around noon and we plan to leave at one o'clock and head halfway to Columbus, Ohio to meet my dad.
From the meeting point, my dad, my brother and I will drive to Columbus, Ohio where I will be put up in a hotel and forgotten about until the morning.
As I was reading that, I realized that my friend Sarah lives in Columbus...
I just called her and I am going to stay at her place tonight! Yay!
Okay, just a quick update, I will update again when I am in Chicago. :-)
Time to go stand in line for the bus!
Thursday, January 7, 2010
On being childish
So.
The day before yesterday I got a text from this guy that I have been seeing asking me if he could come over the following evening. I said yes and then went about my day in anticipation. He had been away snowboarding with friends so I was excited to see him.
Yesterday afternoon, I received a text from him saying hi and i said hey and then he texts "i made out with a gal last night" and I say "oh, really?" and proceed to try and call him three times in succession to try and get his side of the story. He doesn't pick up his phone so I leave him a nasty voice mail calling off the whole relationship and calling him spineless and some other mean names.
About an hour later, I sent him a text telling him that I was sorry for the voicemail that I left, and that it just does not work for me to get a text like that and that we should talk, when works for him?
About five hours after that he sends me a reply that simply says "Never."
So I text him back and say "Never what? You don't even want to tell me what happened?"
His reply " I made out with a girl and I didn't blink twice, then I got drunk. Not fair to you at all I must be honest"
Note the "honesty" bit.
So I ask him if we are over and he says yes so I say that I am bummed but he has to do what he has to do.
This morning I was texting my friend with the same first name as him and I accidentally sent them to him.
He responds and accuses me of "reverse texting" whatever that means.
Then I tell him that when he told me he was a "serial monogamist" I should have known that statement was a red flag.
He texts back and says that he never actually made out with anyone, he just wanted to break it off and make me hate him.
I rapid fire off a bunch of texts like "Oh my god. Are you serious right now?" "Do you know how spineless you look?" "You couldn't just say "this is not working out"? " " "I am so livid right now, you are a filthy liar and I can't even wish you well, that's how livid I am" "What did I do to you that you felt the need to act this way?"
He texts back and says "Nothing, you did nothing"
So I think to myself, "I can't be mad at this guy, he is just being completely childish and absolutely ridiculous"
So I text him, "Well, I am not mad at you, we had a fun time together and I will always remember that. Thanks for everything. I wish you the best and I hope you find what you are looking for"
And that was the end of it.
The day before yesterday I got a text from this guy that I have been seeing asking me if he could come over the following evening. I said yes and then went about my day in anticipation. He had been away snowboarding with friends so I was excited to see him.
Yesterday afternoon, I received a text from him saying hi and i said hey and then he texts "i made out with a gal last night" and I say "oh, really?" and proceed to try and call him three times in succession to try and get his side of the story. He doesn't pick up his phone so I leave him a nasty voice mail calling off the whole relationship and calling him spineless and some other mean names.
About an hour later, I sent him a text telling him that I was sorry for the voicemail that I left, and that it just does not work for me to get a text like that and that we should talk, when works for him?
About five hours after that he sends me a reply that simply says "Never."
So I text him back and say "Never what? You don't even want to tell me what happened?"
His reply " I made out with a girl and I didn't blink twice, then I got drunk. Not fair to you at all I must be honest"
Note the "honesty" bit.
So I ask him if we are over and he says yes so I say that I am bummed but he has to do what he has to do.
This morning I was texting my friend with the same first name as him and I accidentally sent them to him.
He responds and accuses me of "reverse texting" whatever that means.
Then I tell him that when he told me he was a "serial monogamist" I should have known that statement was a red flag.
He texts back and says that he never actually made out with anyone, he just wanted to break it off and make me hate him.
I rapid fire off a bunch of texts like "Oh my god. Are you serious right now?" "Do you know how spineless you look?" "You couldn't just say "this is not working out"? " " "I am so livid right now, you are a filthy liar and I can't even wish you well, that's how livid I am" "What did I do to you that you felt the need to act this way?"
He texts back and says "Nothing, you did nothing"
So I think to myself, "I can't be mad at this guy, he is just being completely childish and absolutely ridiculous"
So I text him, "Well, I am not mad at you, we had a fun time together and I will always remember that. Thanks for everything. I wish you the best and I hope you find what you are looking for"
And that was the end of it.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Some people
So, I have this friend, right? Or should I say, I HAD this friend.
I would not normally do this, but I am going to share with you an e-mail exchange between us because well, it's now my property and I can do with it what I wish AND I need some opinions on it from you guys. However, I do not think I will get any comments anyway, because you guys never listen to me when I ask you to comment. But, lets give this a try anyway.
I would not normally do this, but I am going to share with you an e-mail exchange between us because well, it's now my property and I can do with it what I wish AND I need some opinions on it from you guys. However, I do not think I will get any comments anyway, because you guys never listen to me when I ask you to comment. But, lets give this a try anyway.
Friendship
Sender:
January 5 at 11:10am Report
Happy New Year, again, Mela. When you gave me some hope that you might be able to extend yourself, I was a bit relieved but your inability to communicate to me that you could not offer help made for an uncomfortable situation yesterday. Obviously, if someone has time to go in facebook and post stuff, they are not too busy to respond to texts or voicemails. As far as your not "knowing what to tell me", you (as a friend) should have informed me of your status when you became aware of it. That way you would not have received a call or a text from me yesterday. Have fun with your new boytoy and enjoy your life...
Mela Eloise January 5 at 11:29am
Hey,
Thanks for your well wishes. I only became aware of my finances yesterday and I am sorry that i did not immediately reach for my phone to inform you of this.
I have some concerns about our "friendship" if you can call it that, because I feel like all you ever do is ask me for money now. And if you are not asking for it, you are complaining about it.
It's getting really frustrating and annoying to deal with to say the least and I do not know if I can consider you a friend at this point.
I like to help my friends and sometimes in my eagerness to do so, I promise things that I cannot fulfill upon, and I told you the loan would depend on what my grandmother sent me in the mail for the holidays. Last year she sent me 500 dollars and this year it was only 150 so there is no way I could make you a loan out of that.
Ever since I have known you, you have been involved somehow with having your bills paid by someone else. This is not a demerit against you, but when you depend on other people so heavily financially, I do not think it is outside of the norm when they cannot come through for you in the urgency that you need it.
I do not like what you have become, or maybe you always were this way, I do not know.
In any case, I do wish you the very best, and this will be our last communication.
Mela
Thanks for your well wishes. I only became aware of my finances yesterday and I am sorry that i did not immediately reach for my phone to inform you of this.
I have some concerns about our "friendship" if you can call it that, because I feel like all you ever do is ask me for money now. And if you are not asking for it, you are complaining about it.
It's getting really frustrating and annoying to deal with to say the least and I do not know if I can consider you a friend at this point.
I like to help my friends and sometimes in my eagerness to do so, I promise things that I cannot fulfill upon, and I told you the loan would depend on what my grandmother sent me in the mail for the holidays. Last year she sent me 500 dollars and this year it was only 150 so there is no way I could make you a loan out of that.
Ever since I have known you, you have been involved somehow with having your bills paid by someone else. This is not a demerit against you, but when you depend on other people so heavily financially, I do not think it is outside of the norm when they cannot come through for you in the urgency that you need it.
I do not like what you have become, or maybe you always were this way, I do not know.
In any case, I do wish you the very best, and this will be our last communication.
Mela
Sunday, January 3, 2010
snapped
I cannot get enough of this t.v. show. It is so addicting to me. I love to ponder why people commit crimes and then if they are caught, why do they then receive the sentences that they do? I think when I go back to college I might want to study criminology.
I was talking to this patient that comes into my job and she has a phd in criminology. I alwaysd love talking to her about her classes and things crime related.
Anthropology is also something I like a lot. I don't know if I would want to pursue a degree in anthropology, but the study of humans is a fascinating one, specifically the theory of cultural relativity.
For example, in some parts of Africa, it is customary for the young males of some tribes to 'injest' the 'essence' of the older mature male in order to become a man themselves. How would they injest the essence of the older male you may ask? By essentially giving him a blow job.
Now, in the good old U.S.A. if this were to happen here, we would all freak out and prosecute the 'offenders' to the highest offense and then send them straight to jail.
The argument is that we cannot go over to Africa and tell them that they are abusing children and that they need to stop immediately.
It is all so fascinating to me.
I was talking to this patient that comes into my job and she has a phd in criminology. I alwaysd love talking to her about her classes and things crime related.
Anthropology is also something I like a lot. I don't know if I would want to pursue a degree in anthropology, but the study of humans is a fascinating one, specifically the theory of cultural relativity.
For example, in some parts of Africa, it is customary for the young males of some tribes to 'injest' the 'essence' of the older mature male in order to become a man themselves. How would they injest the essence of the older male you may ask? By essentially giving him a blow job.
Now, in the good old U.S.A. if this were to happen here, we would all freak out and prosecute the 'offenders' to the highest offense and then send them straight to jail.
The argument is that we cannot go over to Africa and tell them that they are abusing children and that they need to stop immediately.
It is all so fascinating to me.
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