Avoiding...

The curser blinks on the page waiting to be moved with the words.

Joe says I'm avoiding him... what does that mean? Sometimes I can be aloof. My stomach hurts, my head hurts, I threw up yesterday. Snacks was really excited to see me yesterday when I came home. He was licking me all over my face and up my nose and in my mouth. It was probably the most sexual moments I have had with that dog. He sure knows how to show his love and then to go way overboard.

"You don't want to go to a Pumpkin Festival on Saturday, do you?" Joe just asked me.

He says his friend E is trying to get him to go. He says it sounds boring.

Snacks is now trying to communicate telepathically with Joe. He keeps putting his head on Joe's shoulder and staring at him. I don't blame him because Joe has been taking Snacks mountain biking recently and I am sure Snacks has become very fond of this activity. However, this is the day off, and he will have to wait until tomorrow to go again, but I don't think time is of any consequence to dogs.

Snacks just jumped up on my lap.

Anyway, I didn't mean to write about my dog a bunch, I meant to write about the miscommunication that is going on with me and Joe. I really think I am emotionally retarded sometimes and I just don't get it. It's very frustrating to me because my intentions are not to hurt his feeling but in reality, I am doing a champion job at it so far.

AAAAAAGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHH!

How many chances to I get to fix this? Is it a lost cause? Can I take it back? Will he forgive me for another time? Is it his fault too? Is it anyone's fault? Do we even need to waste energy on this if it's just going to reach of mute point of misunderstanding time and time again and never really get resolved?

And how do I feel about all this? What is my stomach trying to communicate to me? Is it telling me that I really need to watch my step or that I really need to speak up or that I really need to keep my mouth shut?

I DON'T KNOW. And I could use some help. I'm drowning here trying to stay afloat and I think my life raft is about to sink. So if there is anyone out there who reads this blog and they want to share their thoughts on WHAT THE HELL I'M SUPPOSED TO DO;

I would really appreciate it, surely.

It is these times that I get the most confused. I'm 23 for God's Sake! I am not supposed to be thinking this deeply about life! THIS IS RIDICULOUS!

And I just want to keep typing and rambling on so I can get all this verbal diarrhea out of myself, and the weight will be lifted off and I will feel better. SO FAR IT IS NOT WORKING! WHAT IS GOING WRONG? WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO? SOMETIMES I THINK I SHOULD JUST GO BACK INTO LANDMARK EDUCATION AND SIGN UP FOR THE COMMUNICATION COURSE! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!