hi internet,
hokay so, i started a couch to 5k running program today. and i was pleasantly surprised to find that i was not dead on my feet upon finishing the week 1 day one work out plan. which is to take a "brisk" walk for five minutes (how does one measure briskness, anyway?) and then i jogged for 60 seconds and walked for 90 seconds for a total of 20 minutes.
it was very convenient for me to do this because I live on a residential road set back from the main road where lots of cars go by super fast-like. so i just went one direction from my house until i got to the main road and then i turned around and repeated until the work out was finished. and i used the timer on my CrackBerry. good old CrackBerry.
I put notifications on my phone that say "GO RUNNING, GOD DAMN IT" on the days i'm supposed to go running. fool proof.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
Friday, May 11, 2012
so i threw up in my mouth a little.
Hi internet,
I thought I had seen it all with regard to men seeking sex, but this one takes the cake.
I thought I had seen it all with regard to men seeking sex, but this one takes the cake.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
no personal shopper for me
hi internet,
i woke up this morning just like i do every morning, grouchy and wishing i could go back to sleep. little did i know my morning coffee was going to be pretty much the best thing that happened to me all day, except for talking to my fiancee on skype, but that happens later in the story.
ahem...
so i wake up at 7am, and i mill about tidying up the kitchen and feeding the dogs their breakfast, then letting them outside. My roommate asks me what time it is and I tell her, and then she says she's leaving shortly to go down to the church to have a meeting with someone or another, truthfully I wasn't really listening.
So she leaves and by now it's half past 8am and I start making coffee. I settle down back in my room and log myself into my psychic line job, take a few calls and then cue up America's Next Top Model: British Invasion, my new favorite guilty preasure.
About halfway through this episode, my roommate calls me and tells me that her dad called her up and asked her to fly out to Virginia tomorrow for an impromptu family gathering, so she needs to go to Ikea to get some luggage, and asks me to meet her at the Max station.
"ok, I say, but I still have to finish waking up and take a shower."
"that's fine, she says. It's sunny and I can just sit in the sun and wait for you."
"ok, I'll see you in an hour-ish"
"cool" she says.
so i get ready and right as i'm about to leave, my neighbor comes by to get some coffee, as is customary for her to do. I ask her if she knows what is going on with my roommate (her ex) and she says no. I explain about going to ikea and she says it would just be easier if we all went in her van.
"ok" i say.
she goes to her house to take a shower and get ready and then i take out the trash, and on the way out my roommates pug, bella, manages to squeeze through the gate and zip past me and make a dash for freedom.
"fuck" i mumble under my breath. "I really did not want to do aerobics this morning" as I just fling the trash into the bin and trot off after her, trying in vein to make her come back saying "treats, bella, i have treats!" this of course doesn't work, as she's far smarter than she looks.
bella leads me one avenue over and a couple blocks down, a few times stopping to pee only to dash off when i got close enough to catch her. finally she turns a corner and I see two guys standing near their truck, chatting.
"hey can you grab that pug for me?" i ask.
"oh, i thought you were just taking her for a walk" the taller one says
"oh no, she's making a run for it." i explain.
so he reaches down and holds onto her collar until i can get there and scoop her up -she weighs over 30 pounds, mind you - so that was a long walk home.
i stow bella safely inside again and then i hop into my neighbors car to wait on her to come out, she comes out and discovers her car won't start, apparently this is a common occurance because the van is so old that the headlights like to spontaneously turn on whenever they feel like it, so the battery often dies. "not to worry." she explains. "I have a portable charger,"
thank god. a portable charger. awesome.
we charge the car up and it finally starts, all the while my roommate is texting asking where we are.
finally we are able to pick her up and we get to ikea, and they have no motorized scooters, but they have wheelchairs, the nice door attendant explains. she also tells me that we could have a personal shopper if we wanted. i readily accept this, and she gets on her walkie talkie thing with her manager.
my neighbor comes in and says "what personal shopper, i thought i was going to be your personal shopper."
god damn it, internet, i didn't even get to have my own personal shopper.
i woke up this morning just like i do every morning, grouchy and wishing i could go back to sleep. little did i know my morning coffee was going to be pretty much the best thing that happened to me all day, except for talking to my fiancee on skype, but that happens later in the story.
ahem...
so i wake up at 7am, and i mill about tidying up the kitchen and feeding the dogs their breakfast, then letting them outside. My roommate asks me what time it is and I tell her, and then she says she's leaving shortly to go down to the church to have a meeting with someone or another, truthfully I wasn't really listening.
So she leaves and by now it's half past 8am and I start making coffee. I settle down back in my room and log myself into my psychic line job, take a few calls and then cue up America's Next Top Model: British Invasion, my new favorite guilty preasure.
About halfway through this episode, my roommate calls me and tells me that her dad called her up and asked her to fly out to Virginia tomorrow for an impromptu family gathering, so she needs to go to Ikea to get some luggage, and asks me to meet her at the Max station.
"ok, I say, but I still have to finish waking up and take a shower."
"that's fine, she says. It's sunny and I can just sit in the sun and wait for you."
"ok, I'll see you in an hour-ish"
"cool" she says.
so i get ready and right as i'm about to leave, my neighbor comes by to get some coffee, as is customary for her to do. I ask her if she knows what is going on with my roommate (her ex) and she says no. I explain about going to ikea and she says it would just be easier if we all went in her van.
"ok" i say.
she goes to her house to take a shower and get ready and then i take out the trash, and on the way out my roommates pug, bella, manages to squeeze through the gate and zip past me and make a dash for freedom.
"fuck" i mumble under my breath. "I really did not want to do aerobics this morning" as I just fling the trash into the bin and trot off after her, trying in vein to make her come back saying "treats, bella, i have treats!" this of course doesn't work, as she's far smarter than she looks.
bella leads me one avenue over and a couple blocks down, a few times stopping to pee only to dash off when i got close enough to catch her. finally she turns a corner and I see two guys standing near their truck, chatting.
"hey can you grab that pug for me?" i ask.
"oh, i thought you were just taking her for a walk" the taller one says
"oh no, she's making a run for it." i explain.
so he reaches down and holds onto her collar until i can get there and scoop her up -she weighs over 30 pounds, mind you - so that was a long walk home.
i stow bella safely inside again and then i hop into my neighbors car to wait on her to come out, she comes out and discovers her car won't start, apparently this is a common occurance because the van is so old that the headlights like to spontaneously turn on whenever they feel like it, so the battery often dies. "not to worry." she explains. "I have a portable charger,"
thank god. a portable charger. awesome.
we charge the car up and it finally starts, all the while my roommate is texting asking where we are.
finally we are able to pick her up and we get to ikea, and they have no motorized scooters, but they have wheelchairs, the nice door attendant explains. she also tells me that we could have a personal shopper if we wanted. i readily accept this, and she gets on her walkie talkie thing with her manager.
my neighbor comes in and says "what personal shopper, i thought i was going to be your personal shopper."
god damn it, internet, i didn't even get to have my own personal shopper.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
london calling
hi internet,
i'm going to see my fiancee in london for a month starting june 1st
yay.
i'm going to see my fiancee in london for a month starting june 1st
yay.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
wherein i don't know how to be cordial
hi internet,
yesterday and this morning I am reminded that I have a strong dislike for some personality traits. I'll say right now that I am by NO means perfect, and i'm well aware that I annoy some people most of the time and most people some of the time.
but internet, if there is a number one thing I CANNOT stand, it's being fake.
I make it a point to speak directly to people when I have a problem with them. And I know it's hard for some people to do this. I get it. Sometimes people are awkward and that's fine.
but internet, on the other side of being direct is being indirect, and yesterday i was insulted through a closed door under the guise of a joke. internet, i HATE that.
immediately i told the person that i thought they were being an asshole, and said person started apologising through the door to no response from me. And then said person came out of said room and came over to me, place a hand on my arm and said "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it, I was just joking"
I said "OK" and left it at that.
I have to call BULLSHIT though, said person knew what they were doing from minute one and tried to cover it up in an apology. SO FUCKING IRRITATING.
the only reason i didn't let said perosn know what i really thought of them, is because they were not a guest of mine, so it is my best interest to try to stay out of it as much as possible.
but it's very difficult, internet. very difficult indeed.
yesterday and this morning I am reminded that I have a strong dislike for some personality traits. I'll say right now that I am by NO means perfect, and i'm well aware that I annoy some people most of the time and most people some of the time.
but internet, if there is a number one thing I CANNOT stand, it's being fake.
I make it a point to speak directly to people when I have a problem with them. And I know it's hard for some people to do this. I get it. Sometimes people are awkward and that's fine.
but internet, on the other side of being direct is being indirect, and yesterday i was insulted through a closed door under the guise of a joke. internet, i HATE that.
immediately i told the person that i thought they were being an asshole, and said person started apologising through the door to no response from me. And then said person came out of said room and came over to me, place a hand on my arm and said "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it, I was just joking"
I said "OK" and left it at that.
I have to call BULLSHIT though, said person knew what they were doing from minute one and tried to cover it up in an apology. SO FUCKING IRRITATING.
the only reason i didn't let said perosn know what i really thought of them, is because they were not a guest of mine, so it is my best interest to try to stay out of it as much as possible.
but it's very difficult, internet. very difficult indeed.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road..
Hi Internet!
I totally forgot about May Day this year. How could I forget about May Day? One of my favorite scenes in Mad Men has the May Pole as a featured player in it.
I am a little relieved because tomorrow is Cinco De Mayo, and I did not miss it! And in June there is Bastille Day! Yay for Latin/Spanish independance.
Don't tell the inquisition... HAHA
Internet, aren't you glad it's May? Well for those of us who live in North America it's good that it is May because that means SUMMER is comming up, and internet, I love summer. I love heat, and not just in the bedroom. HAHA.
I think I made the coffee too strong this morning...
OH WELL
I can't wait to go outside and be in the sun every day. and the sun is like HELLO, I AM THE SUN!
It will be great, internet, I can see it now...
I totally forgot about May Day this year. How could I forget about May Day? One of my favorite scenes in Mad Men has the May Pole as a featured player in it.
I am a little relieved because tomorrow is Cinco De Mayo, and I did not miss it! And in June there is Bastille Day! Yay for Latin/Spanish independance.
Don't tell the inquisition... HAHA
Internet, aren't you glad it's May? Well for those of us who live in North America it's good that it is May because that means SUMMER is comming up, and internet, I love summer. I love heat, and not just in the bedroom. HAHA.
I think I made the coffee too strong this morning...
OH WELL
I can't wait to go outside and be in the sun every day. and the sun is like HELLO, I AM THE SUN!
It will be great, internet, I can see it now...
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