hi internet,
I have gotten a lot more spam in my email since I made my email address public. Just recently (about ten minutes ago) I got a message on gchat from a "Michelle Myott" what follows is our conversation. Please accept my apologies for the sometimes graphic nature. I find it the whole dialog to be hilarious, and i hope you will, too.
Michelle: ;)
Sent at 7:32 PM on Wednesday
me: hi
Michelle: have we chatted before? 26/female here...you?
me: oh god, you're a bot
Michelle: if i was a bot ..why would i be wearing this hat?? lolz
me: um, i'm a rhinocerous, whatever scam you are running will not work on me
Michelle: scam wtf?!?
me: do i know you?
Michelle: i'm sorry ..i get to be forgetful at times!! how're you??
me: who are you?
Michelle: Just got out of the shower...long day been kind of busy! but i'm feeling naughty! want to have some fun?
me: hahahahaha ,hilarious
Michelle: gonna change my clothes ... want to see ?
me: LOL
Michelle: http://myfreecamchats.com/QGRRRATA click the gold "Join Free" button at the top of my profile.....give it a second to load ..when you get in , I'd love for you to join me in private ....k?
me: yeah, i knew you were a bot
i'd like to see you fuck your mother up her ass
Michelle: Ok, now you really lost me?? bot???
me: bot is not a real person, if you were you would take offense to what i just said
Michelle: Ok, now you really lost me?? bot???
me: form response
gleeble gleeble gleeble jibber jabber
Michelle: i use this site to play on cuz i don't want to be recorded !...this site doesn't allow users to record my webcam! you know?
me: uh huh, that's nice
Michelle: credit card is just to verify your age, you'll get in for free thru my page but you need to verify that you're an adult ...can't show ass and pussy to minors .. u know?
me: sure, i know, but see, i only like little boys
Michelle: let me know when you're done or if you need help ...i'll be gettin' ready for you ..K ?
me: i bet you will be
Michelle: brb.. 1 second ... got to restart my cam ...u coming?
me: but first you have to wash up, which will short curciut you
Michelle: k ur good let me know when you're in babe..
me: oh yeah, i'm here
where are you? i don't see you
Michelle: are you in yet?
me: yup
Michelle: well hey ..you better give me some "gold" when you're on the site lol..it's like a flirt and I'd love some from you ..k?
me: all the gold you need is up your mother's ass
Michelle: k
me: so you should get a flashlight and look way up there
Michelle: k
me: and if you can't find the gold, well that bitch hid it somewhere eles, and you'll have to torture it out of her
Michelle: make me your bitch
me: yeah and i'll call you my bitch bot
Michelle: make me your bitch
me: i would consider it if you weren't a mindless email collecting bot
Michelle: Ok, now you really lost me?? bot???
me: bot bot bot bot bot bot bot
Michelle: uggh no i'm not are u???? lolz
me: i'm not the demographic you are looking to scam
Michelle: scam wtf?!?
me: yeah, scam
and whoever programed you did a shit job
Michelle: scam wtf?!?
me: your programmer is shit
Michelle: what's taking u soooo long babe im burnin' in here waiting for u .....
me: LOL
purple purple purple purple
Sent at 7:46 PM on Wednesday
Edit... The bot returns!
Michelle: hey you
Sent at 10:03 PM on Wednesday
me: back again already?
Michelle: have we chatted before? 26/female here...you?
me: yeah, we chatted yesterday
no sorry, actually about 3 hours ago
Michelle: i'm sorry ..i get to be forgetful at times!! how're you??
me: i'm amused
Michelle: Just got out of the shower...long day been kind of busy! but i'm feeling naughty! want to have some fun?
me: i'm always up for fun
Michelle: gonna change my clothes ... want to see ?
Sent at 10:06 PM on Wednesday
me: sure
Michelle: http://myfreecamchats.com/PGLCIPAH click the gold "Join Free" button at the top of my profile.....give it a second to load ..when you get in , I'd love for you to join me in private ....k?
Sent at 10:07 PM on Wednesday
me: you sent me a different link 3 hours ago
Michelle: Its http://myfreecamchats.com/GSLVJPTO just accept my cam invite,
me: geez bots don't even do continuity
yeah, another different link
Michelle: Ok, now you really lost me?? bot???
me: haha
Michelle: i use this site to play on cuz i don't want to be recorded !...this site doesn't allow users to record my webcam! you know?
me: yeah
have you got any other form responses?
Michelle: credit card is just to verify your age, you'll get in for free thru my page but you need to
verify that you're an adult ...can't show ass and pussy to minors .. u know?
me: yeah i know, but i like boys, remember?
Michelle: let me know when you're done or if you need help ...i'll be gettin' ready for you ..K ?
me: yeah, you get ready
Michelle: brb.. 1 second ... got to restart my cam ...u coming?
me: just an fyi, i've been posting these conversations on my blog and forwarding your dialogs to the economic crimes unit for financial fraud
Michelle: k ur good let me know when you're in babe..
me: sure
me: sure
Michelle: are you in yet?
me: i'm going skydiving. do you like skydiving?
Michelle: well hey ..you better give me some "gold" when you're on the site lol..it's like a flirt and I'd love some from you ..k?
Sent at 10:12 PM on Wednesday
me: what is gold? like a gold credit card?
Michelle: k
me: money
Michelle: there's no $$ involved!!
me: slut
Michelle: mhhm make me your slut
me: bitch
Michelle: make me your bitch
me: whore
Michelle: I'll be your whore
me: apple
Michelle: k
me: banana
Michelle: what's taking u soooo long babe im burnin' in here waiting for u .....
me: woman
Wednesday, June 6, 2012
Saturday, May 19, 2012
on the bench
hi internet,
the other day i took the bus out to the grocery store/bank to do some business. i was feeling sort of thirsty, so i bought this drink that I had never tried before. it was a drink by the brand name "FUZE" and it was flavored blueberry/rasberry. the drink was really difficult to get open, but i finally managed it, after squishing my face up all tight so it looked like I needed to poo and then finally the top came off. i took one sip and was not impressed.
drink in hand, i walked accross the parking lot to the bus stop just at the end where the blacktop meets the sidewalk. there were two people sitting on the bench next to the bus stop and a third person standing and holding on to the handle of a shopping cart. all three of them looked like they had not showered in weeks. smelled like it, too.
"Hey.. uh... you wan sit down?" The woman with long brown hair and slurred speech said. She was barely audible due to the cars whizzing by.
"No, that's ok, I assured her. Do you guys want this drink?" I gestured to my drink and exteneded it towards the man, who was seated closer to me.
"Does it have LSD in it?" the man asked, he had grey hair, and dried mud all over his face.
"Yeah, I said. I put some in there on my way through the parking lot."
"Well, you would really be helping me out then!" He exclaimed.
"Oh yeah? I heard you gotta be careful with that stuff, you might have a bad trip." I offered.
"Nah, with me, I just see colors everywhere. Big, bright colors, everything looks amazing." He explained.
"Oh, well I guess that does sound like fun." I said.
"Hey, you sure do have some NICE shoes." The woman chimed in.
"Yeah, I like them a lot." I told her.
"Well, me, I just drink a lot of alcohol and smoke a lot of pot. I LOVE pot." She said.
"That's nice."
"Well, are you all ready to get on the bus?" Shopping cart man said. He startled me a bit, because before he said that, I wasn't sure if he was all there, he was just standing and staring off into space, before suddenly joining the conversation.
"Yeah" Both the man and the woman said in unison.
The bus approached and came to a stop, it was pretty full and none of my new friends made a move to board it.
"Well, I have to go now, what are your names?" I asked.
"I'm Mark and that's Valerie, and over there is John." Mark, the grey haired man said.
"Well, I'm Mela. It was nice talking to you all. Enjoy the drink and the rest of your day." I said.
"You too" Mark said.
the other day i took the bus out to the grocery store/bank to do some business. i was feeling sort of thirsty, so i bought this drink that I had never tried before. it was a drink by the brand name "FUZE" and it was flavored blueberry/rasberry. the drink was really difficult to get open, but i finally managed it, after squishing my face up all tight so it looked like I needed to poo and then finally the top came off. i took one sip and was not impressed.
drink in hand, i walked accross the parking lot to the bus stop just at the end where the blacktop meets the sidewalk. there were two people sitting on the bench next to the bus stop and a third person standing and holding on to the handle of a shopping cart. all three of them looked like they had not showered in weeks. smelled like it, too.
"Hey.. uh... you wan sit down?" The woman with long brown hair and slurred speech said. She was barely audible due to the cars whizzing by.
"No, that's ok, I assured her. Do you guys want this drink?" I gestured to my drink and exteneded it towards the man, who was seated closer to me.
"Does it have LSD in it?" the man asked, he had grey hair, and dried mud all over his face.
"Yeah, I said. I put some in there on my way through the parking lot."
"Well, you would really be helping me out then!" He exclaimed.
"Oh yeah? I heard you gotta be careful with that stuff, you might have a bad trip." I offered.
"Nah, with me, I just see colors everywhere. Big, bright colors, everything looks amazing." He explained.
"Oh, well I guess that does sound like fun." I said.
"Hey, you sure do have some NICE shoes." The woman chimed in.
"Yeah, I like them a lot." I told her.
"Well, me, I just drink a lot of alcohol and smoke a lot of pot. I LOVE pot." She said.
"That's nice."
"Well, are you all ready to get on the bus?" Shopping cart man said. He startled me a bit, because before he said that, I wasn't sure if he was all there, he was just standing and staring off into space, before suddenly joining the conversation.
"Yeah" Both the man and the woman said in unison.
The bus approached and came to a stop, it was pretty full and none of my new friends made a move to board it.
"Well, I have to go now, what are your names?" I asked.
"I'm Mark and that's Valerie, and over there is John." Mark, the grey haired man said.
"Well, I'm Mela. It was nice talking to you all. Enjoy the drink and the rest of your day." I said.
"You too" Mark said.
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
one thing awesome, one thing not so awesome
hi internet,
i have just finished week one of cool running's couch to 5k program. very proud of myself. 8 more weeks to go. i'm impressed with how in shape i am, my first walk/jog did not leave me dead on my feet, and I was only mildly sore the next day. and by my third walk/jog, i was jogging past the interval times, when I should have started walking. pretty awesome. I have to be careful not to push it too hard, but it's really nice to know that I'm not an extreme couch potato.
on another note, i'm going grey and i have yet to accept it. i haven't had very much disposable money lately so I have not dyed my hair and I have a lot of sliver going on up top. I still squish my face up when i look at it. stupid hair genetics, thanks mom. not.
i have just finished week one of cool running's couch to 5k program. very proud of myself. 8 more weeks to go. i'm impressed with how in shape i am, my first walk/jog did not leave me dead on my feet, and I was only mildly sore the next day. and by my third walk/jog, i was jogging past the interval times, when I should have started walking. pretty awesome. I have to be careful not to push it too hard, but it's really nice to know that I'm not an extreme couch potato.
on another note, i'm going grey and i have yet to accept it. i haven't had very much disposable money lately so I have not dyed my hair and I have a lot of sliver going on up top. I still squish my face up when i look at it. stupid hair genetics, thanks mom. not.
Tuesday, May 15, 2012
when the cat's away
hi internet,
my roommate has been out of town for a few days and I have totally taken over her bed. it is so much more comfortable than mine is, plus both the dogs and i fit on it very comfortably. I'll be very happy when she comes back because i miss her a whole lot, but i'll be sad to have to go back to my tiny bed.
on another note, the news says that tempur pedic beds are not any good for having sex on.
well, i definitely don't want one of those anymore.
my roommate has been out of town for a few days and I have totally taken over her bed. it is so much more comfortable than mine is, plus both the dogs and i fit on it very comfortably. I'll be very happy when she comes back because i miss her a whole lot, but i'll be sad to have to go back to my tiny bed.
on another note, the news says that tempur pedic beds are not any good for having sex on.
well, i definitely don't want one of those anymore.
Monday, May 14, 2012
Sunday, May 13, 2012
it's very flattering to be desired, but damn.
7:27 AM ryan: hey, how are you?
7:28 AM me: i'm great
ryan: oh, whats your secret?
7:29 AM me: no secret
ryan: im just teasing
7:31 AM me: well why are you talking to me still?
7:32 AM no reason for it, as we have already discussed
ryan: i cant say hello?
me: you said that the last time you tried this
ryan: ok?
me: dude, it's kinda creepy
we've never met
and it's may
i talked to you online like a year ago
ryan: alright...and?
7:33 AM just freakin block me then
geez
i do Im people from time to time
me: well that's your perogative
ryan: yeah, it is
7:34 AM me: my point is i shouldn't have to block you, you should stop talking to me on your own accord
7:35 AM ryan: i just dont think its that big of a deal
7:37 AM me: ok. but i told you to stop talking to me before this, and yet here you are again, so that tells me you don't listen to what i say, or respect my wishes
ryan: omg, its not that serious
7:38 AM me: here you are again, disregarding what i'm saying to you
ryan: no, its just annoying...like who cares
me: i care.
7:28 AM me: i'm great
ryan: oh, whats your secret?
7:29 AM me: no secret
ryan: im just teasing
7:31 AM me: well why are you talking to me still?
7:32 AM no reason for it, as we have already discussed
ryan: i cant say hello?
me: you said that the last time you tried this
ryan: ok?
me: dude, it's kinda creepy
we've never met
and it's may
i talked to you online like a year ago
ryan: alright...and?
7:33 AM just freakin block me then
geez
i do Im people from time to time
me: well that's your perogative
ryan: yeah, it is
7:34 AM me: my point is i shouldn't have to block you, you should stop talking to me on your own accord
7:35 AM ryan: i just dont think its that big of a deal
7:37 AM me: ok. but i told you to stop talking to me before this, and yet here you are again, so that tells me you don't listen to what i say, or respect my wishes
ryan: omg, its not that serious
7:38 AM me: here you are again, disregarding what i'm saying to you
ryan: no, its just annoying...like who cares
me: i care.
Saturday, May 12, 2012
look ma, i'm running.
hi internet,
hokay so, i started a couch to 5k running program today. and i was pleasantly surprised to find that i was not dead on my feet upon finishing the week 1 day one work out plan. which is to take a "brisk" walk for five minutes (how does one measure briskness, anyway?) and then i jogged for 60 seconds and walked for 90 seconds for a total of 20 minutes.
it was very convenient for me to do this because I live on a residential road set back from the main road where lots of cars go by super fast-like. so i just went one direction from my house until i got to the main road and then i turned around and repeated until the work out was finished. and i used the timer on my CrackBerry. good old CrackBerry.
I put notifications on my phone that say "GO RUNNING, GOD DAMN IT" on the days i'm supposed to go running. fool proof.
hokay so, i started a couch to 5k running program today. and i was pleasantly surprised to find that i was not dead on my feet upon finishing the week 1 day one work out plan. which is to take a "brisk" walk for five minutes (how does one measure briskness, anyway?) and then i jogged for 60 seconds and walked for 90 seconds for a total of 20 minutes.
it was very convenient for me to do this because I live on a residential road set back from the main road where lots of cars go by super fast-like. so i just went one direction from my house until i got to the main road and then i turned around and repeated until the work out was finished. and i used the timer on my CrackBerry. good old CrackBerry.
I put notifications on my phone that say "GO RUNNING, GOD DAMN IT" on the days i'm supposed to go running. fool proof.
Friday, May 11, 2012
so i threw up in my mouth a little.
Hi internet,
I thought I had seen it all with regard to men seeking sex, but this one takes the cake.
I thought I had seen it all with regard to men seeking sex, but this one takes the cake.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
no personal shopper for me
hi internet,
i woke up this morning just like i do every morning, grouchy and wishing i could go back to sleep. little did i know my morning coffee was going to be pretty much the best thing that happened to me all day, except for talking to my fiancee on skype, but that happens later in the story.
ahem...
so i wake up at 7am, and i mill about tidying up the kitchen and feeding the dogs their breakfast, then letting them outside. My roommate asks me what time it is and I tell her, and then she says she's leaving shortly to go down to the church to have a meeting with someone or another, truthfully I wasn't really listening.
So she leaves and by now it's half past 8am and I start making coffee. I settle down back in my room and log myself into my psychic line job, take a few calls and then cue up America's Next Top Model: British Invasion, my new favorite guilty preasure.
About halfway through this episode, my roommate calls me and tells me that her dad called her up and asked her to fly out to Virginia tomorrow for an impromptu family gathering, so she needs to go to Ikea to get some luggage, and asks me to meet her at the Max station.
"ok, I say, but I still have to finish waking up and take a shower."
"that's fine, she says. It's sunny and I can just sit in the sun and wait for you."
"ok, I'll see you in an hour-ish"
"cool" she says.
so i get ready and right as i'm about to leave, my neighbor comes by to get some coffee, as is customary for her to do. I ask her if she knows what is going on with my roommate (her ex) and she says no. I explain about going to ikea and she says it would just be easier if we all went in her van.
"ok" i say.
she goes to her house to take a shower and get ready and then i take out the trash, and on the way out my roommates pug, bella, manages to squeeze through the gate and zip past me and make a dash for freedom.
"fuck" i mumble under my breath. "I really did not want to do aerobics this morning" as I just fling the trash into the bin and trot off after her, trying in vein to make her come back saying "treats, bella, i have treats!" this of course doesn't work, as she's far smarter than she looks.
bella leads me one avenue over and a couple blocks down, a few times stopping to pee only to dash off when i got close enough to catch her. finally she turns a corner and I see two guys standing near their truck, chatting.
"hey can you grab that pug for me?" i ask.
"oh, i thought you were just taking her for a walk" the taller one says
"oh no, she's making a run for it." i explain.
so he reaches down and holds onto her collar until i can get there and scoop her up -she weighs over 30 pounds, mind you - so that was a long walk home.
i stow bella safely inside again and then i hop into my neighbors car to wait on her to come out, she comes out and discovers her car won't start, apparently this is a common occurance because the van is so old that the headlights like to spontaneously turn on whenever they feel like it, so the battery often dies. "not to worry." she explains. "I have a portable charger,"
thank god. a portable charger. awesome.
we charge the car up and it finally starts, all the while my roommate is texting asking where we are.
finally we are able to pick her up and we get to ikea, and they have no motorized scooters, but they have wheelchairs, the nice door attendant explains. she also tells me that we could have a personal shopper if we wanted. i readily accept this, and she gets on her walkie talkie thing with her manager.
my neighbor comes in and says "what personal shopper, i thought i was going to be your personal shopper."
god damn it, internet, i didn't even get to have my own personal shopper.
i woke up this morning just like i do every morning, grouchy and wishing i could go back to sleep. little did i know my morning coffee was going to be pretty much the best thing that happened to me all day, except for talking to my fiancee on skype, but that happens later in the story.
ahem...
so i wake up at 7am, and i mill about tidying up the kitchen and feeding the dogs their breakfast, then letting them outside. My roommate asks me what time it is and I tell her, and then she says she's leaving shortly to go down to the church to have a meeting with someone or another, truthfully I wasn't really listening.
So she leaves and by now it's half past 8am and I start making coffee. I settle down back in my room and log myself into my psychic line job, take a few calls and then cue up America's Next Top Model: British Invasion, my new favorite guilty preasure.
About halfway through this episode, my roommate calls me and tells me that her dad called her up and asked her to fly out to Virginia tomorrow for an impromptu family gathering, so she needs to go to Ikea to get some luggage, and asks me to meet her at the Max station.
"ok, I say, but I still have to finish waking up and take a shower."
"that's fine, she says. It's sunny and I can just sit in the sun and wait for you."
"ok, I'll see you in an hour-ish"
"cool" she says.
so i get ready and right as i'm about to leave, my neighbor comes by to get some coffee, as is customary for her to do. I ask her if she knows what is going on with my roommate (her ex) and she says no. I explain about going to ikea and she says it would just be easier if we all went in her van.
"ok" i say.
she goes to her house to take a shower and get ready and then i take out the trash, and on the way out my roommates pug, bella, manages to squeeze through the gate and zip past me and make a dash for freedom.
"fuck" i mumble under my breath. "I really did not want to do aerobics this morning" as I just fling the trash into the bin and trot off after her, trying in vein to make her come back saying "treats, bella, i have treats!" this of course doesn't work, as she's far smarter than she looks.
bella leads me one avenue over and a couple blocks down, a few times stopping to pee only to dash off when i got close enough to catch her. finally she turns a corner and I see two guys standing near their truck, chatting.
"hey can you grab that pug for me?" i ask.
"oh, i thought you were just taking her for a walk" the taller one says
"oh no, she's making a run for it." i explain.
so he reaches down and holds onto her collar until i can get there and scoop her up -she weighs over 30 pounds, mind you - so that was a long walk home.
i stow bella safely inside again and then i hop into my neighbors car to wait on her to come out, she comes out and discovers her car won't start, apparently this is a common occurance because the van is so old that the headlights like to spontaneously turn on whenever they feel like it, so the battery often dies. "not to worry." she explains. "I have a portable charger,"
thank god. a portable charger. awesome.
we charge the car up and it finally starts, all the while my roommate is texting asking where we are.
finally we are able to pick her up and we get to ikea, and they have no motorized scooters, but they have wheelchairs, the nice door attendant explains. she also tells me that we could have a personal shopper if we wanted. i readily accept this, and she gets on her walkie talkie thing with her manager.
my neighbor comes in and says "what personal shopper, i thought i was going to be your personal shopper."
god damn it, internet, i didn't even get to have my own personal shopper.
Tuesday, May 8, 2012
london calling
hi internet,
i'm going to see my fiancee in london for a month starting june 1st
yay.
i'm going to see my fiancee in london for a month starting june 1st
yay.
Sunday, May 6, 2012
Saturday, May 5, 2012
wherein i don't know how to be cordial
hi internet,
yesterday and this morning I am reminded that I have a strong dislike for some personality traits. I'll say right now that I am by NO means perfect, and i'm well aware that I annoy some people most of the time and most people some of the time.
but internet, if there is a number one thing I CANNOT stand, it's being fake.
I make it a point to speak directly to people when I have a problem with them. And I know it's hard for some people to do this. I get it. Sometimes people are awkward and that's fine.
but internet, on the other side of being direct is being indirect, and yesterday i was insulted through a closed door under the guise of a joke. internet, i HATE that.
immediately i told the person that i thought they were being an asshole, and said person started apologising through the door to no response from me. And then said person came out of said room and came over to me, place a hand on my arm and said "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it, I was just joking"
I said "OK" and left it at that.
I have to call BULLSHIT though, said person knew what they were doing from minute one and tried to cover it up in an apology. SO FUCKING IRRITATING.
the only reason i didn't let said perosn know what i really thought of them, is because they were not a guest of mine, so it is my best interest to try to stay out of it as much as possible.
but it's very difficult, internet. very difficult indeed.
yesterday and this morning I am reminded that I have a strong dislike for some personality traits. I'll say right now that I am by NO means perfect, and i'm well aware that I annoy some people most of the time and most people some of the time.
but internet, if there is a number one thing I CANNOT stand, it's being fake.
I make it a point to speak directly to people when I have a problem with them. And I know it's hard for some people to do this. I get it. Sometimes people are awkward and that's fine.
but internet, on the other side of being direct is being indirect, and yesterday i was insulted through a closed door under the guise of a joke. internet, i HATE that.
immediately i told the person that i thought they were being an asshole, and said person started apologising through the door to no response from me. And then said person came out of said room and came over to me, place a hand on my arm and said "I'm sorry, I really didn't mean it, I was just joking"
I said "OK" and left it at that.
I have to call BULLSHIT though, said person knew what they were doing from minute one and tried to cover it up in an apology. SO FUCKING IRRITATING.
the only reason i didn't let said perosn know what i really thought of them, is because they were not a guest of mine, so it is my best interest to try to stay out of it as much as possible.
but it's very difficult, internet. very difficult indeed.
Friday, May 4, 2012
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road..
Hi Internet!
I totally forgot about May Day this year. How could I forget about May Day? One of my favorite scenes in Mad Men has the May Pole as a featured player in it.
I am a little relieved because tomorrow is Cinco De Mayo, and I did not miss it! And in June there is Bastille Day! Yay for Latin/Spanish independance.
Don't tell the inquisition... HAHA
Internet, aren't you glad it's May? Well for those of us who live in North America it's good that it is May because that means SUMMER is comming up, and internet, I love summer. I love heat, and not just in the bedroom. HAHA.
I think I made the coffee too strong this morning...
OH WELL
I can't wait to go outside and be in the sun every day. and the sun is like HELLO, I AM THE SUN!
It will be great, internet, I can see it now...
I totally forgot about May Day this year. How could I forget about May Day? One of my favorite scenes in Mad Men has the May Pole as a featured player in it.
I am a little relieved because tomorrow is Cinco De Mayo, and I did not miss it! And in June there is Bastille Day! Yay for Latin/Spanish independance.
Don't tell the inquisition... HAHA
Internet, aren't you glad it's May? Well for those of us who live in North America it's good that it is May because that means SUMMER is comming up, and internet, I love summer. I love heat, and not just in the bedroom. HAHA.
I think I made the coffee too strong this morning...
OH WELL
I can't wait to go outside and be in the sun every day. and the sun is like HELLO, I AM THE SUN!
It will be great, internet, I can see it now...
Thursday, May 3, 2012
shit my dog does
Hi internet,
My dog, Snacks, is currently molesting a blanket he took off of my bed. He's chewing on it, biting it, and forcibly holding it in his arms. When he was a puppy, he had this blanket, it was a blue and white blanket. I thought it was cute that he would fuck that blanket so much I started calling it his "sex blanket." Little did I know that he would develop a penchant for destroying blankets...
Snacks is four years old now. He's come a long way from being a rambunctious puppy. For example, after some minimal chewing and chomping on said blanket, he's already fallen asleep on it.
Awww....
I think Snacks is a gorgeous dog, he's got a beautiful caramel coloring, with white accents. Of course, I am biased to the amount of beauty he has. He's a mixed breed, and to me he looks like a pitbull/rhodesian ridgeback, but I have yet to come up with a cute combo name for his breed.
I know he's part Rhodesian Ridgeback because when he get excitable when he plays, his ridge stands right up, it's barely noticible unless he does that, save for a faint line all down his back.
As for being part pit bull, he's definitely got the pit bull jaw. Man, this dog can chomp down on things. He's never chomped down on anything living, though. just balls that he doesn't want me to be able to take away from him.
He's sweet, gentle and kind, and if I am sad he comes over to protect me. He's also sensitive, and he whines sometimes when he feels like I'm not paying attention to him. Snacks teaches me a lot of valuable lessons about life.
He's the best dog I have ever had, that's for sure.
Viva, Snacks!
My dog, Snacks, is currently molesting a blanket he took off of my bed. He's chewing on it, biting it, and forcibly holding it in his arms. When he was a puppy, he had this blanket, it was a blue and white blanket. I thought it was cute that he would fuck that blanket so much I started calling it his "sex blanket." Little did I know that he would develop a penchant for destroying blankets...
Snacks is four years old now. He's come a long way from being a rambunctious puppy. For example, after some minimal chewing and chomping on said blanket, he's already fallen asleep on it.
Awww....
I think Snacks is a gorgeous dog, he's got a beautiful caramel coloring, with white accents. Of course, I am biased to the amount of beauty he has. He's a mixed breed, and to me he looks like a pitbull/rhodesian ridgeback, but I have yet to come up with a cute combo name for his breed.
I know he's part Rhodesian Ridgeback because when he get excitable when he plays, his ridge stands right up, it's barely noticible unless he does that, save for a faint line all down his back.
As for being part pit bull, he's definitely got the pit bull jaw. Man, this dog can chomp down on things. He's never chomped down on anything living, though. just balls that he doesn't want me to be able to take away from him.
He's sweet, gentle and kind, and if I am sad he comes over to protect me. He's also sensitive, and he whines sometimes when he feels like I'm not paying attention to him. Snacks teaches me a lot of valuable lessons about life.
He's the best dog I have ever had, that's for sure.
Viva, Snacks!
Wednesday, May 2, 2012
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
couch to 5k
Hi internet,
Y'all know that I submitted Kevin's Visa on April 2nd and that I got the First Notice of Action (N0A1) in the mail on April 14th. The United States Center for Immigration Services (USCIS) says they received my fiancee petition and my money on April 6th and that it has been accepted and is under "initial review."
Internet, "initial review" is code for BACKGROUND CHECK. During this phase Homeland Security conducts a thourough background check on yours truly. What fun. Well, it's not like the government can't find out anything they want to find out about me ANYWAY, whenever they want. During this phase, they make sure I'm not a threat to national security. Awesome, I have nothing to worry about (resists urge to write something snarky here).
Typically, the fiancee visa petition is approved in three to five months. And all the petitions have about a 98% approval rate.
AFTER the visa is approved, it then gets sent to the National Visa Center or NVC. I think I already talked about this part a couple of posts ago. You can see that it is on my mind.
On another note, it's May, which means summer is closer.
Oh yeah, and I just remembered the title of this entry is "couch to 5k." The folks over at Cool Runnings have this 9 week couch to 5k program that's really neat. You start out alternating jogging and walking and then progress to full on jogging. I probably told you this before, internet, but I did run Cross Country and Track in high school, SO WHAT IF IT WAS NEARLY TEN YEARS AGO, RIGHT?!
it should come back easily!
I haven't started it yet, even thoguh I have every intention of doing so. Intentions never get anyone, anywhere. I have already started making excuses in ernest about my not starting yet. Including but not limited to "I have too much work to do" "I don't REALLY neeed to work out" and my personal favorite "I'll start tomorrow."
Here's to tomorrow, internet.
Y'all know that I submitted Kevin's Visa on April 2nd and that I got the First Notice of Action (N0A1) in the mail on April 14th. The United States Center for Immigration Services (USCIS) says they received my fiancee petition and my money on April 6th and that it has been accepted and is under "initial review."
Internet, "initial review" is code for BACKGROUND CHECK. During this phase Homeland Security conducts a thourough background check on yours truly. What fun. Well, it's not like the government can't find out anything they want to find out about me ANYWAY, whenever they want. During this phase, they make sure I'm not a threat to national security. Awesome, I have nothing to worry about (resists urge to write something snarky here).
Typically, the fiancee visa petition is approved in three to five months. And all the petitions have about a 98% approval rate.
AFTER the visa is approved, it then gets sent to the National Visa Center or NVC. I think I already talked about this part a couple of posts ago. You can see that it is on my mind.
On another note, it's May, which means summer is closer.
Oh yeah, and I just remembered the title of this entry is "couch to 5k." The folks over at Cool Runnings have this 9 week couch to 5k program that's really neat. You start out alternating jogging and walking and then progress to full on jogging. I probably told you this before, internet, but I did run Cross Country and Track in high school, SO WHAT IF IT WAS NEARLY TEN YEARS AGO, RIGHT?!
it should come back easily!
I haven't started it yet, even thoguh I have every intention of doing so. Intentions never get anyone, anywhere. I have already started making excuses in ernest about my not starting yet. Including but not limited to "I have too much work to do" "I don't REALLY neeed to work out" and my personal favorite "I'll start tomorrow."
Here's to tomorrow, internet.
Monday, April 30, 2012
Theresa's Birthday
Today is the day that one of my really good friends and platonic wony eyed gimp life mate came into the world. I met her in 2004 in the summer when we were both working at this place that was horrible. I won't tell you what the place was called, because it doesn't deserve any publicity.
We lost touch because I didn't stay at the job long, I was fired for showing up late to training too many times. And shortly after that I got a different job, and then shortly after that, I broke up with my boyfriend at the time and went back east.
I don't remember how we got back in touch, internet. it was probably because of facebook. But in any case, I'm very glad that we got back in touch, because now, 8 years later, we're roommates!
This morning we woke up and gave the dogs their crunchies (breakfast) and then I played her Birthday songs by the Beatles and by Jimi Hendrix. Now, we are listening to The Presidents of the United States of America on Pandora.
Yesterday Heidi and I went all over the place looking for a fold out table that Theresa wanted for her birthday, but we couldn't find it anywhere! Luckily, Heidi's girlfriend Amy called around and she found it.
Then we had an epic birthday party with awesome food and even more awesome cake and fun games of Bananagrams. It was a good day.
We lost touch because I didn't stay at the job long, I was fired for showing up late to training too many times. And shortly after that I got a different job, and then shortly after that, I broke up with my boyfriend at the time and went back east.
I don't remember how we got back in touch, internet. it was probably because of facebook. But in any case, I'm very glad that we got back in touch, because now, 8 years later, we're roommates!
This morning we woke up and gave the dogs their crunchies (breakfast) and then I played her Birthday songs by the Beatles and by Jimi Hendrix. Now, we are listening to The Presidents of the United States of America on Pandora.
Yesterday Heidi and I went all over the place looking for a fold out table that Theresa wanted for her birthday, but we couldn't find it anywhere! Luckily, Heidi's girlfriend Amy called around and she found it.
Then we had an epic birthday party with awesome food and even more awesome cake and fun games of Bananagrams. It was a good day.
Sunday, April 29, 2012
How I make money and be generally awesome
Hi Internet,
I hope all of you are well. Two posts down (three, if you count this one) I told you that I got a job that I started on that thursday, the one I was talking about in the post. Well, I never went. I made myself sick and I couldn't sleep. I talked to my fiancee about it, and ultimately decided not to go.
You see internet, I have my own business, you can see it here:
My Super Awesome Business
This is how I make most of my income, and since launching in January, business has been steady, and I'm excited for things to come.
Youtube also recently gave me the opportunity to become a partner, I think due to the success of my Webseries, "Confessions of a Wonky Eyed Gimp" My Youtube Channel has the show and other stuff I have done, like my stand up comedy and such.
Furthermore, my roommate told me about this website, where you can do simple "Human Intelligence Tasks" or HIT's in exchange for money. I have made about 17 bucks so far.
I'm pretty happy with how I make money, furthermore, I just bit the bullet and signed with a management company, so now I have an agent. How cool is that?
Hasta Luego!
I hope all of you are well. Two posts down (three, if you count this one) I told you that I got a job that I started on that thursday, the one I was talking about in the post. Well, I never went. I made myself sick and I couldn't sleep. I talked to my fiancee about it, and ultimately decided not to go.
You see internet, I have my own business, you can see it here:
My Super Awesome Business
This is how I make most of my income, and since launching in January, business has been steady, and I'm excited for things to come.
Youtube also recently gave me the opportunity to become a partner, I think due to the success of my Webseries, "Confessions of a Wonky Eyed Gimp" My Youtube Channel has the show and other stuff I have done, like my stand up comedy and such.
Furthermore, my roommate told me about this website, where you can do simple "Human Intelligence Tasks" or HIT's in exchange for money. I have made about 17 bucks so far.
I'm pretty happy with how I make money, furthermore, I just bit the bullet and signed with a management company, so now I have an agent. How cool is that?
Hasta Luego!
Thursday, April 26, 2012
Visa, Visa, Visa!
Hi internet,
I sent out Kev's K-1 visa package on April 2nd, and then got a reply that it had been rec'd. That's good, but after carefully reviewing the visa timeline, I realized that even after the visa is approved (in 3 to 5 months) then it gets sent to the National Visa Center (NVC) and then they send it over to the consulate in London who then schedules him for an interview and then when that is approved THEN he can come over. so it takes 8 to 10 months before it is complete. That means i'll have to move the wedding date to later. FUCK SHIT DAMN. I hate, hate, hate the visa process. hate it!
WHY is it so fucking difficult to marry a foreigner?
Just send me over my man, so I can marry him, that's all I want.
I sent out Kev's K-1 visa package on April 2nd, and then got a reply that it had been rec'd. That's good, but after carefully reviewing the visa timeline, I realized that even after the visa is approved (in 3 to 5 months) then it gets sent to the National Visa Center (NVC) and then they send it over to the consulate in London who then schedules him for an interview and then when that is approved THEN he can come over. so it takes 8 to 10 months before it is complete. That means i'll have to move the wedding date to later. FUCK SHIT DAMN. I hate, hate, hate the visa process. hate it!
WHY is it so fucking difficult to marry a foreigner?
Just send me over my man, so I can marry him, that's all I want.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
a post in which not one thing has to do with the other
hi internet,
how YOU doin'?
let me start by saying that i moved out of NYC to PDX. My first day here was on March 19 so in ten days it will be a month. it's been a very interesting first three weeks for sure.
i set up a home phone and wireless internet service before i moved here, and then when i got to my new house and checked my voicemails, there was one of the creepiest voicemails i ever heard that was left for the woman who previously had my number.
and then, i went to the grocery store, and on my way over to the bus stop after my shopping, a man harrassed me to the point of me having to call in and report him to the police. in 7 years living in nyc, that never happened to me.
i also got a job that i start on thursday. it's full time but we all know how much i just LOVE working for other people... so we'll see.
oh, and wedding dress fitting tomorrow!
how YOU doin'?
let me start by saying that i moved out of NYC to PDX. My first day here was on March 19 so in ten days it will be a month. it's been a very interesting first three weeks for sure.
i set up a home phone and wireless internet service before i moved here, and then when i got to my new house and checked my voicemails, there was one of the creepiest voicemails i ever heard that was left for the woman who previously had my number.
and then, i went to the grocery store, and on my way over to the bus stop after my shopping, a man harrassed me to the point of me having to call in and report him to the police. in 7 years living in nyc, that never happened to me.
i also got a job that i start on thursday. it's full time but we all know how much i just LOVE working for other people... so we'll see.
oh, and wedding dress fitting tomorrow!
Monday, January 30, 2012
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