Hello internet, it's been forever, how have you been?
I haven't updated in over six months. I know, I know, you're all "Where have you been? You just stopped updating your blog! Vanished! You didn't call, you certainly didn't write, you just left and now you're back all nonchalant, just opening up your browser window and being all "Hey, what's up internet, how you doing blog, feel like being written in today?"
My apologies, blog. I do hope you'll forgive me.
So.
I'm not engaged anymore.
Yeah, I didn't really know how to ease into that one so I just put it out there.
In the interest of not putting ALL my relationship troubles out onto my public blog, I'll keep this one short.
It didn't work out between us. It's sad. I wish it could have. We remain friends. I mean, I've known the guy for nearly ten years. We had many great times together, filled with laughter and exploration, but, I just forgot that in the six years that we didn't speak to each other, my frontal lobe finished developing inside my head, and I grew and changed, and, alas *sniffle* am not the same person I used to be.
I wanted the memory of us back, but it will just have to stay a memory.
I have really been doing my best to hide out from the world lately. This happens to me - as I'm sure it does to many others - I let my insecurities get the best of me and I close myself off. I mean, I love comedy, I really enjoy performing, but, at least not right now - performing comedy doesn't equal food in my belly and roof over my head. I also let the naysayers get under my skin. "Don't say that in your act, don't be so mean to yourself, you shouldn't make fun of your cerebral palsy."
I know, you can never please everyone, and you should not let what people say stop you from doing what you love to do, but sometimes people can be so mean, and those mean words stick in my head long after I hear them, replaying over and over, and over...
The conclusion I have come to is that weather you like or don't like me or what I do in my comedy act, you still took the time to form an opinion about it, and voice it, and that translates into future ticket sales and all the apple pie I can eat!
3 comments:
Hi Mela, it's been too long! Sorry to hear the engagement didn't work out, but I'm glad you're doing well and moving on. Oh, and anyone who says things like, "you shouldn't make fun of your cerebral palsy" should not be allowed inside a comedy club. :)
Hey Matt! Thanks, I know, you are right about the comedy club thing. How have you been, what are you up to? I need to check out what you're writing in your blog. I haven't in forever.
I'm pretty much up to my same old tricks, I suppose. This month is a good time to check my blog, because I'm writing a poem a day in the month of April (provided I don't run out of ideas).
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