sometimes things happen in life that you really want to write about in your blog, but you can't write about them because it invades the privacy of someone you care about very much.
this is one of those times.
i will say that I spent much of today stewing in a murderous rage.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Sunday, May 30, 2010
The great clean room adventure
Julie left this morning. I woke up early, around 6am and was feeling more chipper than usual. I decided to tackle the mess that had become my room head on.
I spent at least three hours cleaning my room and I can see the floor again! I should have taken a before and after picture. I put the twin bed mattress that Julie was sleeping on back underneath my bed and moved my dresser back up against the wall. I organized all my clothing and put all the dirty clothes in the hamper and folded all the clean ones and put them away. I threw away all the trash and cleaned out Chester's cage and put down some fresh bedding for him.
Julie came back from running last minute errands half way through my extravaganza and packed up all her things and left. She left a box of things for me to mail to her in Seattle.
I went through lots and lots of papers and organized them. I couldn't find the cd of my april 19th set though. I'm super sad about that. I hope it will turn up, but if not, the one on June 1st is being taped so I will have to make sure I keep my hot little mitts on that one.
Time to shower all this cleaning grime off of me.
I spent at least three hours cleaning my room and I can see the floor again! I should have taken a before and after picture. I put the twin bed mattress that Julie was sleeping on back underneath my bed and moved my dresser back up against the wall. I organized all my clothing and put all the dirty clothes in the hamper and folded all the clean ones and put them away. I threw away all the trash and cleaned out Chester's cage and put down some fresh bedding for him.
Julie came back from running last minute errands half way through my extravaganza and packed up all her things and left. She left a box of things for me to mail to her in Seattle.
I went through lots and lots of papers and organized them. I couldn't find the cd of my april 19th set though. I'm super sad about that. I hope it will turn up, but if not, the one on June 1st is being taped so I will have to make sure I keep my hot little mitts on that one.
Time to shower all this cleaning grime off of me.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH
OH MY GOD, SO MUCH STUFF IS GOING ON!!!
I have two part time jobs, I go to school three nights a week, I do gigs as a stand up comic, sometimes I model, and I'm seeing someone. WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?!
My blackberry calendar is crying. Seriously.
It is 2 am and I should be in bed, but I don't want to go to sleep because all I do at my apartment is sleep. I wake up at 7 or 8 usually, and definitely no later than 9 and I'm out the door. Then I don't come back until 11pm or later.
I really like the school I'm going to, I enjoy the classes, but I am also already slightly bored. Oh, and that reminds me, I have to put together a presentation for class tomorrow. FRICK. My life is really exploding and this is a good thing, even though I am SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! Just think, I will have a CAREER in less than five months. Can I handle that? I HAVE NO IDEA!
I simply mention that I'm doing a comedy show and all my friends plus people I don't even know that well are all "ooh I want to go!" and I think to myself "really?" Like I have no idea why anyone would want to come see me perform.
They want to come because I am AWESOME that's why.
In closing, I would like to thank the little baby jesus for my mood stabilizer and for my mom who pays for my psychiatrist.
I have two part time jobs, I go to school three nights a week, I do gigs as a stand up comic, sometimes I model, and I'm seeing someone. WHERE DOES THE TIME GO?!
My blackberry calendar is crying. Seriously.
It is 2 am and I should be in bed, but I don't want to go to sleep because all I do at my apartment is sleep. I wake up at 7 or 8 usually, and definitely no later than 9 and I'm out the door. Then I don't come back until 11pm or later.
I really like the school I'm going to, I enjoy the classes, but I am also already slightly bored. Oh, and that reminds me, I have to put together a presentation for class tomorrow. FRICK. My life is really exploding and this is a good thing, even though I am SCARED OUT OF MY MIND! Just think, I will have a CAREER in less than five months. Can I handle that? I HAVE NO IDEA!
I simply mention that I'm doing a comedy show and all my friends plus people I don't even know that well are all "ooh I want to go!" and I think to myself "really?" Like I have no idea why anyone would want to come see me perform.
They want to come because I am AWESOME that's why.
In closing, I would like to thank the little baby jesus for my mood stabilizer and for my mom who pays for my psychiatrist.
Monday, May 17, 2010
on being in need of a reality check
I cooked dinner. I cooked a whole chicken, potatoes, carrots and gravy. This guy I'm seeing and I made plans to meet in columbus circle and eat dinner. This didn't really work for me because I got off of work earlier and wanted to just go home, after some persuasion on his part, I agreed to meet up in columbus circle.
I got home around 6 and launched into making the chicken dinner. He texts and asks to meet at 830 instead of 9 and i say it's possible. I text at 7:15 and say the chicken wont be done in time for me to meet him at 830 and ask him to just come up to my place, he texts and asks me to call so I do.
"I wanted to meet in the park"
"I know but the oven I have doesnt work that well, so the chicken is taking longer than I thought"
"Well can we meet later?"
"I can probably be there by 9:45"
"OK"
We hang up and he calls back 5 minutes later.
"Hello?"
"Stay right there, I'll come to your apartment"
"OK"
45 minutes later, he shows up at my door. Annoyed.
In the kitchen...
"I'm annoyed"
"OK"
"I wanted to eat in the park. It wasn't so much the meal for me, but the being outside"
"Um...well, there is nothing I can really do about that now"
(there is a plate of food I prepared for him sitting on the kitchen counter, and my roommate is sitting in the next room)
I really wanted to punch him in the face for patronizing me in front of my roommate. I wanted to kick him out right then, but I also didn't want to fly off the handle and jeopardize my living situation.
I let it go and we sad down to eat
"This is really good"
"Thanks"
We continue to talk for awhile and have some good conversation. He stays for another hour and then heads home.
He calls and I pick up the phone.
"What are you doing?"
"Watching TV and talking to my friends."
"I hate talking to people when they are distracted."
Click.
I wait about 20 minutes to try and call him back but he doesn't pick up. Figures.
I then receive a text "Goodnight chicken and pototatoes princess"
Ugh.
Then this:
me: i'm chillen too
I got home around 6 and launched into making the chicken dinner. He texts and asks to meet at 830 instead of 9 and i say it's possible. I text at 7:15 and say the chicken wont be done in time for me to meet him at 830 and ask him to just come up to my place, he texts and asks me to call so I do.
"I wanted to meet in the park"
"I know but the oven I have doesnt work that well, so the chicken is taking longer than I thought"
"Well can we meet later?"
"I can probably be there by 9:45"
"OK"
We hang up and he calls back 5 minutes later.
"Hello?"
"Stay right there, I'll come to your apartment"
"OK"
45 minutes later, he shows up at my door. Annoyed.
In the kitchen...
"I'm annoyed"
"OK"
"I wanted to eat in the park. It wasn't so much the meal for me, but the being outside"
"Um...well, there is nothing I can really do about that now"
(there is a plate of food I prepared for him sitting on the kitchen counter, and my roommate is sitting in the next room)
I really wanted to punch him in the face for patronizing me in front of my roommate. I wanted to kick him out right then, but I also didn't want to fly off the handle and jeopardize my living situation.
I let it go and we sad down to eat
"This is really good"
"Thanks"
We continue to talk for awhile and have some good conversation. He stays for another hour and then heads home.
He calls and I pick up the phone.
"What are you doing?"
"Watching TV and talking to my friends."
"I hate talking to people when they are distracted."
Click.
I wait about 20 minutes to try and call him back but he doesn't pick up. Figures.
I then receive a text "Goodnight chicken and pototatoes princess"
Ugh.
Then this:
me: i'm chillen too
dont have to be at work until 1 tomorrow so i'm taking advantage
ttny337: lucky
me: yeah i'm not always so lucky
Sent at 12:59 AM on Tuesday
ttny337: true, you never got on that date with me yet
cause you are lazy lol
me: LOL i would not call me lazy
ttny337: i dunno still wondering about this hot date u promised
me: uh huh
well you can keep on wondering if you're going to call me lazy
i work 6 to 7 days a week
go to school three nights a week
ttny337: so u like sushi?
me: dude, let's clear up the lazy comment
that wasn't cool
if you don't wanna take it back, we can discontinue talking
ttny337: fine i take it back
me: um thanks
count me out on that date
best to you
ttny337: ha ok no love
how's the comedy thing going?
Seriously? Seriously?! *facepalm*
Friday, May 14, 2010
on making funnies
Tuesday, June 1st 9:30pm @ COMIX NY 353 W 14th Street
COMIX has asked me to come back and grace the stage with my presence again! I am so excited!! I will be performing at the COMIX NY New Talent Showcase on Tuesday, June 1st at 9:30pm.
I really want all of you to come out and see me! It really, really, really, really, really means a lot to me that you dig what I am up to and I want you all to know that I could not be a comedian without you!
Details:
This is what is called a "Bringer" show. I am a new comedian, so I am required to bring 15 or more guests to the show in order to perform. It shows the club that I have a following and that I am a bookable comedian.
The COOL part about this is that when you call COMIX at 212 524 2500 and tell them you are coming to see me (Mela Nichols) you get $5.00 off the ticket price.
So, call the club ASAP to let them know you are coming out to see me, and you will pay $10 for your ticket instead of $15. Pretty freaking awesome, yeah? There is also a 2 drink minimum at the show and they don't have to be alcoholic drinks.
Hope to see you all there!!
xo
Mela
COMIX has asked me to come back and grace the stage with my presence again! I am so excited!! I will be performing at the COMIX NY New Talent Showcase on Tuesday, June 1st at 9:30pm.
I really want all of you to come out and see me! It really, really, really, really, really means a lot to me that you dig what I am up to and I want you all to know that I could not be a comedian without you!
Details:
This is what is called a "Bringer" show. I am a new comedian, so I am required to bring 15 or more guests to the show in order to perform. It shows the club that I have a following and that I am a bookable comedian.
The COOL part about this is that when you call COMIX at 212 524 2500 and tell them you are coming to see me (Mela Nichols) you get $5.00 off the ticket price.
So, call the club ASAP to let them know you are coming out to see me, and you will pay $10 for your ticket instead of $15. Pretty freaking awesome, yeah? There is also a 2 drink minimum at the show and they don't have to be alcoholic drinks.
Hope to see you all there!!
xo
Mela
it's a quarter after three in the morning
and I am still awake.
Why?
I got in around 2:30am. I exited the train and walked passed a woman sitting on the benches on the platform, not even five seconds after I strolled on by, she puked her brains out. All I could think of as I was walking away and listening to her heaving was "Well, I am really glad that none of that shit got on me." And I continued walking towards the exit stairs sans general concern for the puking woman.
I climbed the stairs leisurely, a luxury only afforded me when it is early in the morning. God forbid I try to take a leisurely pace at rush hour, I would surely be lynched. I reach the final staircase and begin to climb it, listening to the faint sobs of a woman crying.
"Jesus Christ, what on Earth could be happening now?!" I think to myself. And I briefly pause and wonder if it would be better to exit on the other side of the station, even though it would be a farther walk to my apartment. I decide to stick with the original plan and continue to ascend the staircase.
Sparkly silver hooker heels come into view.
"Holy shit, there is a hooker sobbing at the top of the subway entrance!" My internal dialog informs me. I continue to climb, and right before I reach the top, I hear:
"I'm sorry, I am so sorry..." she sobs
The hooker is a chunky black girl, late teenage years at best, wearing a skimpy black outfit and sparkly silver six inch hooker heels.
"What the fuck did you think you were doing? You thought I wouldn't notice?! Now, let me ask you again, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY?!" Yells a medium build, stocky, baseball cap wearing pimp. His cohort pimp standing silently beside him, cornering the hooker.
I swiftly headed north towards my apartment, the hooker's plea's haunting me as I walked away.
Why?
I got in around 2:30am. I exited the train and walked passed a woman sitting on the benches on the platform, not even five seconds after I strolled on by, she puked her brains out. All I could think of as I was walking away and listening to her heaving was "Well, I am really glad that none of that shit got on me." And I continued walking towards the exit stairs sans general concern for the puking woman.
I climbed the stairs leisurely, a luxury only afforded me when it is early in the morning. God forbid I try to take a leisurely pace at rush hour, I would surely be lynched. I reach the final staircase and begin to climb it, listening to the faint sobs of a woman crying.
"Jesus Christ, what on Earth could be happening now?!" I think to myself. And I briefly pause and wonder if it would be better to exit on the other side of the station, even though it would be a farther walk to my apartment. I decide to stick with the original plan and continue to ascend the staircase.
Sparkly silver hooker heels come into view.
"Holy shit, there is a hooker sobbing at the top of the subway entrance!" My internal dialog informs me. I continue to climb, and right before I reach the top, I hear:
"I'm sorry, I am so sorry..." she sobs
The hooker is a chunky black girl, late teenage years at best, wearing a skimpy black outfit and sparkly silver six inch hooker heels.
"What the fuck did you think you were doing? You thought I wouldn't notice?! Now, let me ask you again, WHERE THE FUCK IS MY MONEY?!" Yells a medium build, stocky, baseball cap wearing pimp. His cohort pimp standing silently beside him, cornering the hooker.
I swiftly headed north towards my apartment, the hooker's plea's haunting me as I walked away.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
on burning down the apartment
"I don't think I can talk to you anymore."
"Why?"
"Because I have a crush on you"
"OK"
"And you are my ex girlfriend's sister and you said you didn't want things to be weird between us."
"Well, I don't think it would be weird, I mean, we couldn't date, I don't have that much experience with girls anyway, it would depend of if talking to me would be weird for you."
"I.."
"I have to go the oven is on fire!"
---
"Oh my God! Where is the fire coming from?!"
J: "It looks like it's coming from underneath the oven"
Cautiously, I pull out the oven's broiler and revealed is a flaming oven mitt.
M: "Do you have a fire extinguisher?"
Me: "No. I don't think so..."
M: "Well, we could put water on it, but if it's greasy at all, that would make the fire worse."
J: "So... what do we do?"
M: We need to smother it, do you have a pan you could put over it?"
I reach for a pan and lean over to smother the fire.
M: "Wait, be careful, you don't want to burn yourself! The fire is going down, anyway."
Me: "Don't be silly, I will be careful."
I toss the pan over the flaming oven mitt, and the fire is extinguished.
Beeeeep, Beeeep, Beeeeep, Beeeep, Beeeep, the fire alarms incessantly blare.
Me: "Shit. How do we make those stop? Where is that ladder?"
My roommate emerges from his room, followed closely by his girlfriend.
Me: "The oven caught on fire, there was an oven mitt in the broiler..."
Roommate: "We need to blow the smoke away from the alarms."
J grabs a chair and pulls it over to the blaring alarms, my roommate brushes past her with a large pillow in tow, lifting the pillow and waving it furiously over his head.
The door opens, A and S walk through the door.
A: "Oh my..."
Me: "We were making cookies and there was an oven mitt in the broiler and it caught on fire."
A: "Oh my God, I was walking through the hallway and I smelled smoke and I thought someone's apartment was on fire and then I was all 'Oh my God, it's our apartment and nobody is home!!'"
Me: "We handled it."
"Why?"
"Because I have a crush on you"
"OK"
"And you are my ex girlfriend's sister and you said you didn't want things to be weird between us."
"Well, I don't think it would be weird, I mean, we couldn't date, I don't have that much experience with girls anyway, it would depend of if talking to me would be weird for you."
"I.."
"I have to go the oven is on fire!"
---
"Oh my God! Where is the fire coming from?!"
J: "It looks like it's coming from underneath the oven"
Cautiously, I pull out the oven's broiler and revealed is a flaming oven mitt.
M: "Do you have a fire extinguisher?"
Me: "No. I don't think so..."
M: "Well, we could put water on it, but if it's greasy at all, that would make the fire worse."
J: "So... what do we do?"
M: We need to smother it, do you have a pan you could put over it?"
I reach for a pan and lean over to smother the fire.
M: "Wait, be careful, you don't want to burn yourself! The fire is going down, anyway."
Me: "Don't be silly, I will be careful."
I toss the pan over the flaming oven mitt, and the fire is extinguished.
Beeeeep, Beeeep, Beeeeep, Beeeep, Beeeep, the fire alarms incessantly blare.
Me: "Shit. How do we make those stop? Where is that ladder?"
My roommate emerges from his room, followed closely by his girlfriend.
Me: "The oven caught on fire, there was an oven mitt in the broiler..."
Roommate: "We need to blow the smoke away from the alarms."
J grabs a chair and pulls it over to the blaring alarms, my roommate brushes past her with a large pillow in tow, lifting the pillow and waving it furiously over his head.
The door opens, A and S walk through the door.
A: "Oh my..."
Me: "We were making cookies and there was an oven mitt in the broiler and it caught on fire."
A: "Oh my God, I was walking through the hallway and I smelled smoke and I thought someone's apartment was on fire and then I was all 'Oh my God, it's our apartment and nobody is home!!'"
Me: "We handled it."
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